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I guess you'll have trauma. Sometimes divorce is just a relief for both parties, neither of whom wanted to take the first step. It doesn't have to be acrimonious; if you talk to your wife, and she tells you that this is the way it's going to be, and she's not interested in making it better or making it work, who's going to be traumatized? Not every divorce is a game of spite and malice. How does this do any damage to your character? Who are these "others" whose opinion matters regarding whether or not you stay in a loveless marriage? That's just crazy talk, I'm sorry. Too bad your wife isn't interested in working on it. I think your job has a big impact here; what if you took a job that enabled you to come home every day. Do you think that would make a difference to her? Have you ever asked? nsa in 29720 nowof marriage, I can tell you that sex isn't always for both of you every time you have sex. Sometimes you go through the motions because you want to make HIM happy, and sometimes visa versa. The thing is, though, once you get into the motions, the hormones usually follow. don't put off sex just because one of you isn't in the mood. It doesn't HAVE to be so damn synchronized., if you're so up all the time on what YOU can get out of this marriage, then you'll never know the of giving to him. is about giving, not taking. It's been mentioned before, but I don't know if you caught it and I don't feel like scrolling down to. You need to pick up a copy of the book The Languages , or just read a short version online (concepts are the same either way, don't necessarily need all the lengthy examples and case studies in the book). It sounds like you two are right out of this book. you do that? Basiy, it describes how each of us feels loved in different ways. It sounds quite clear that you feel loved when he gives you gifts. I'm not quite sure what his language is, but possibly it's verbal in what you say to him. If that's true, then your refusal of his apology last night would have cut like a knife. The book is very enlightening. Helped me to that my hubby's language is acts of service. Words, gifts, physical touch, etc. don't matter to him. But watch him when I cook his favorite meal, give a BJ, change his bed sheets (he loves that), or massage his feet. I'm helping him to that my language is words, but can't get him to read the book. Just trying to show him that words cut me deep, but they can also uplift me to the highest heights. What he says to me means more than any gift or little chore he does. Likewise, I've learned to watch what he does since doing acts of service mean to him, I watch when he does something for me. He's showing his. (BTW, I haven't received a V-day gift in oh, maybe 10 years. But you can bet your ass there's no ice on my windshield in the mornings, even if his is buried in snow.) find single men
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