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Been married for almost 4 years, no and in the last 5 months I've been feeling very disconnected from husband. I've communicated this to him and that I have some concerns over what feels like some distance. We both work very hard and sometimes hours, but we almost always make the time to have dinner together and discuss our day, challenges, positives, negatives etc. Every time there is a discussion about how I am feeling, he tells me that I shouldn't feel that way, and that the way I need and accept is f'ed up, I shouldn't need to be filled with physical all of the time. He says he does plenty for me, but when I ask what those things are, he can't be specific. Sex is a once a month thing, and based on my initiation; and substantial amounts of rejection throughout the inbetween times. It seems every time I try to show him my, it goes overlooked. After having another discussion with him this morning, he told me to just stay at work and don't come back and that if what he does isn't good enough, we're done. I don't need a slap on the ass and be told good job, I want his quality time, communication and physical attention; and certainly not all the time, but more than once a month. I want the husband back who did those things before we were married. I didn't grow up with a very accepting or loving family, so I know it's something that I have strived to work toward. Counseling (both of us), reading books, and having a positive self image have brought me a way in our relationship. We have both wanted, but have come to realize that due to medical issues (mine), after trying to 4 years, that having our own not be possible. He says he's okay with it, but I'm wondering if this is the underlying problem causing this disconnect. I him to pieces and can't imagine my life without him; but I am also very hurt emotionally and wanting him physiy, only to be rejected hurts so bad. Where do I go from here? Help please 33408 girls hotHer First argument Yes something happened 2-3 months ago. I am telling the fact here without any opinion: It started from days before my birthday in July, he mentioned he already made the reservation to go Yosemite. The next day, he said it is too far and maybe we should not go. The third day, he cancelled the trip saying his was physiy ill (Later I found out he did not make the reservation at all). Here is my response. I am % honest. Okay, it was Lake Tahoe and not Yosemite and we live in South bay. We always wanted to go to Lake Tahoe. I am in bay area for 7 years and have never been there and she has been here for 3+ years and she also has not gone there so far so for both of us, the idea of Lake Tahoe was very exciting. Now her b'day was on and she wanted to have a lunch with her parents on around 11 am. I really wanted to celebrate her b'day in enormous way. I had purchased months ago a hot ballon ride over Napa but when I did some research, I found that first week of July was not the best time to go as it would be really hot so I opted for Lake Tahoe. When she asked me for reservation, I said yeah I had made reservations because for me it is just a minute thing and for her, it meant that I planned her b'day so I just said yeah I had done. I am a type of person who doesn't get bogged down by petty details. It was just one night in Tahoe, you could book on a fly. Now our plan was to go Saturday morning and come back on morning before 11 am so that she could have lunch with her parents. Honestly I had no idea how far Lake Tahoe was, I just thought it was 3 hours away but found out that it was 5 hours ride. I told her "was it worth it to go that far just for a day and be we could go next weekend" and she agreed to it fully. It was not that I would not celebrate her b'day if we don't go any where nor it is like we don't travel, we travel often and I pay all bills. people wants for sex
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