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and I'll point out that if that's the case, it isn't the intent. Maybe I am tho. But I'm not doing it to satisfy a need. I would tell him if I have a need. But if I told him every time I FELT like I had a need .I would be asking for a dynamic or something that allowed me to feel that way. If I articulated every need I would be on him like white on rice all day just communicating fucking needs that are really just passing thoughts and arousal. So I gather them together at times and sort through them and articulate what seems most important and a true need and filter out what can be attributed to stimulus of the day, life, bad family interaction or whatever things I can cope with or should cope with I don't know. I don't know what to say to that question. I guess if you can't how it contributes at times then I suppose I just need to think on it more. and i haven't self kinked in awhile and it DID have a place in the beginning because I wasn't even sure of what I liked myself. Maybe you can't that its a form of giving, and sharing, and being brave and how that contributes and how that's a big deal for me. Cut me slap me shit on me piss on me and I'll give it a go with you with no hesitations but I feel like I'm giving when oh whatever. whatever. Its probably better use of my time to ponder on being creative in ways that are tangible to both myself and my partner. lonely in midland
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