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I don't think we can live without systems, just because of the way human social nature and cognition works. To me, the question is how flexible are the systems? How much room for maneuverability do they have in them? How do they deal with change? Are they responsive to people's needs? I also think it is good to push people out of their comfort zones (or, at the very least, certainly up to the edge of them so they're dancing right on that thin line), so I think your initial impulse was a good one. I just think that it is a delicate operation, which is why it needs a more personal touch than a "program" can usually give. I do think there are little things that could be done (although generally speaking not legislated or forced). Have you ever noticed how alike everything in the states is? Like even down to hotel rooms? You go in a hotel and all the floors are exactly the same, and all the rooms. And if you go to a hotel in another city, it's indistinguishable from one somewhere. Why? Why do we need everything to be the same? Why don't business owners take gentle risks and make their places look different or creative, acclimate people in a completely safe way to the fact that not everything is the same? Why do cities have laws that all houses have to be painted a certain, narrow range of colors? Why do people shop at chain places they recognize, even when traveling, instead of supporting independent stores? Because they know it? That discourages anything different in favor of what we're comfortable with. And since people travel a lot and the market encourages nationwide megachains, it encourages homogeneity not just within cities, but across them. But there's no "natural" reason it has to be that way, and it certainly isn't in countries. looking to fuck in Pirtleville Arizona mtMe and this girl were friends with benefits for nearly a year, and it ended on good terms back in ish when she met a guy where she works. She got engaged to him within 4 months or so, so there's _that_. A couple of weeks ago she started texting me, innocent at first, then slightly flirty, then very flirty, then borderline smut. Not that I'm complaining, but after playing along for a couple of hours I asked her "why are you being so naughty?" (kept it light-hearted) and she replied "cos I like to". Leaving aside how much the whole conversation turned me on, what the hell is she doing? Does she just like the attention? Well, if I don't reply for a few days she just re-starts the innocence as if nothing had happened, then it's downhill from there (or uphill, depending on your perspective). I know she likes being a tease because we used to play games like that all the time, but why isn't she playing with her fiancé? I'm not % surprised by her behaviour since she was sorta-kinda with someone when we first hooked up, I'm mostly just confused. I assumed if she was going to mess around on her fiancé it'd be with a whole new guy, not with me. I'm not sure what she wants I've tried flat-out asking, but her replies are vague / if they come at all, so I think it's safe to assume she doesn't want to physiy cheat on her fiancé? He apparently likes her a lot and I feel quite sorry for him, which apparently bothers me enough that I'm here asking for advice. Should I just delete her number and ignore her or something? I don't want to tell him what she's been doing, mostly because it's kinda none of my business, but because we ended on good terms and I occasionally her out and about and could do without her castrating me with a broken WKD bottle outside the pub at 2am. Because she would. Just when I thought I'd managed to pull off the whole friends with benefits thing without hassle, eh? find sex tonight
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