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and I'll point out that if that's the case, it isn't the intent. Maybe I am tho. But I'm not doing it to satisfy a need. I would tell him if I have a need. But if I told him every time I FELT like I had a need .I would be asking for a dynamic or something that allowed me to feel that way. If I articulated every need I would be on him like white on rice all day just communicating fucking needs that are really just passing thoughts and arousal. So I gather them together at times and sort through them and articulate what seems most important and a true need and filter out what can be attributed to stimulus of the day, life, bad family interaction or whatever things I can cope with or should cope with I don't know. I don't know what to say to that question. I guess if you can't how it contributes at times then I suppose I just need to think on it more. and i haven't self kinked in awhile and it DID have a place in the beginning because I wasn't even sure of what I liked myself. Maybe you can't that its a form of giving, and sharing, and being brave and how that contributes and how that's a big deal for me. Cut me slap me shit on me piss on me and I'll give it a go with you with no hesitations but I feel like I'm giving when oh whatever. whatever. Its probably better use of my time to ponder on being creative in ways that are tangible to both myself and my partner. free sex MillsboroInterestingly I have never been much of a dare-devil in other aspects of my life. Most people, particularly those in my family, might even say I was sort of a wimp. I've never been one to take a lot of risks. Maybe because I don't trust the elements or the rope or the net. But when it comes to relationships and BDSM, I find a place to take that risk to get that high on the edge of a where you can already feel the earth slip out from under you even before it does. Trust is the feeling that the ground be there, the other person won't harm me or if they do, they be there. I know for a fact I have misplaced trust and I have given it out in places that to people who sky dive or free climb would consider crazy. But it works for me. I like this. Control is difficult to express for me. There is control that I give in a sort of proactive way, a scene for example. And then there is a control that honestly I cannot direct. That's probably the scariest kind. When realize that I am so far gone that I know they could ask anything of me and I'd do it. I can feel it when I look at them. It's both invigorating and terrifying all at the same time. It's rare. I should probably be grateful for that fact and yet, I can't say that I am. dating divorced men
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