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ca65 looking for guy friends in the areawork, it is never going to happen. Horse and water It means both of you HAVE to take an ACTIVE role. Quite often we give all responsibility to our cure to another. Give me a pill ..leave it in the hands of another or thing, rather than be an integral part of the cure. Why do you think there are so that don't succeed, they are the component in their own cure yet they do nothing but believe they did everything possible, because they did what the therapist said. If they don't give their heart in the process they are only going through the motions to validate their belief that the problem lies with their partner rather themselves. The therapist only aids them to it for themselves and only if they are any good which can not always be equated by their degrees. older women younger men
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Lemme tell you what this approach do for you: It REQUIRE the two of you to communicate and compromise about money, set goals together, hold each other accountable for shared expenses, AND to be responsible to your own finances. It's a training exercise to teach you both how to manage finances together so it doesn't become a wedge in your relationship. If either of you doesn't hold up your own responsibility, it's obvious where the problem is and it can be dealt with quickly and honestly, together. It also does not unfairly put a greater burden on either of you, nor allow one to freeload off the other. It also leaves you both with your own fair share of income to spend as you please, without accountability to the other BUT *WITH* accountability to yourself! You can't overspend what you don't have, and you couldn't spend it from the joint account without being caught with hands in the cookie jar. As you become more practiced and responsible to each other, the system morph into something more joint. If either of you is irresponsible, it naturally separate your finances as you pick out the offending parts from the joint account or joint expenses (they'll become discretionary AFTER all other bills are paid). Ideally, by the time you both become trained to this system, the way you each *think* about money (and therefore, spending habits) become very similar to each other’s. At that point, you need not be afraid of money breaking your marriage apart, and you can consider merging everything if it suits you. If the whole thing goes south and you break up, you have only to split what’s left in the joint account, and divide the savings. Your own accounts are safe. There’s my 2-cents. just wanna meet friends
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