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Some people think that its racist that because people are stereotypiy "black" they make me uncomfortable so I tend to shy away from them. But in the same breath I only know white people and my family is very much European so I much know why I feel more comfortable dating white men despite their racial based tendency. Because I've been in term relationships with several people that I wouldn't consider racists but at the same time gave me recognition as a person of color. In my Opinion acklowedgement of skin color when not associated with respect for a religious group, is slightly racist. I grew up in a generalized cultural household but people associate me with black, or in my case people don't know what I am half of the time. Despite the fact that my friends and family dont me as colored guys always inquire about my ethnicity. And to be honest I feel like they're always hoping that I say anything but "black". I think it is just a qwirk of our age that we're at a middle ground in our sense of ethniy morality. I feel like if you're ethnic and interested in interratcial relationships you kind of have to toughing up and accept that bias wont change over night and the most difficult parts of the race '-" are over. Keeping in mind that its not centralized in white, the light skinned "mixed" and " other" ethnicites tend to look down on darker people of their own race. The only ethnic friends I've ever had have been mixed and of them felt they were better off because" luckily" they weren't black :/ I look at my ethnicity as an accesspry to everything that makes us individuals rather than a guideline. I don't really care what color you are as as you treat me the way I feel I should be. A lot of guys (the stereotypical ones) but aesthetics first and a shallow pool of aesthetiy at that sadly. seeking ltr with quality woman
am really trying to give you an honest assessment. i can not do it with the material you have given, so i rely solely on your behavior and the words you choose. it is rather disturbing that you do not address anyone directly. to me it indicates a (mild?) passive nature in the way you handle what you perceive as problems. this only compounds matters and it is disturbing also to learn of the behavior of your spouse. it is as if she has given up on your marriage as well and is only going through the motions. don't be surprised to find out later that she has also toyed with the idea of possibly leaving. ooooohhhhh made either a freudian slip or is toying with the words "balls" in your court instead of the commonly used term of "ball". you need to (i dislike the term but) up! wine and dine her, put her first. doing the chores is great but you are doing it for the wrong reasons and that is a very important distinction even though the end result be the same. the distinction shows the mental attitude you are in. compound this attitude with this passive nature of yours, i am sure the expression of the outcome is very subtle; possibly in this lackluster attitude of yours. throw in this empty nest period that is imminent which only compounds matters and makes things even more murky. you two must reconnect with each other as you once did before the advent of the. that is going to be hard with your inability to actively be a participant rather than a passive entity in this marriage EMOTIONALLY. i gave you my honest assessment. now it is up to you to breath some life into this marriage. it is going to be tough, because she is conditioned in her behavior and it take and imagination on your part to romance her and help both of you out of this rut. seeking counseling, as an aid to communication if need be but not as a reliance to solve your problems that is up to you and your spouse. oh yeah try to read the underlining points, don't focus so much on the "why" for now. that is for another time when you have time for reflection. focus all your attention on the "how" for now and check for feedback. note the good, bad, and neutral responses and do more of the good and discontinue the actions that brought on a bad result. need date for concert hopefully ltrit hurts. like, its actually a physical pain. ive never understood how something that has no scar can hurt. but it does. so much. plus there's this constant throbbing. i cant make i stop, its always there. i cant figure that out either. there's also the vaccuum. im standing in a crowd but im the only one there. like there's a shield. or a wall, only a clear one. because i can through it. i can everyone. i them, wait, no, i scream their names. they should hear me right? i mean, they really should. or wait. maybe im not shouting loud enough? ok, i shout louder, but still. nothing. and the weight. that i around. this unseen burden that seems to grow with every breath i take. sometimes i try not to breathe. maybe if i dont breathe, then it wont get any heavier than it is now. but i cant stop breathing. my body is my enemy in this game. i say stop breathing, but it continues. and now i dont know. i want to have it ripped out, please, even if it hurts, i want it to be done. then the shine, right? and the birds sing for me. because right now they are only singing for everyone. mature ladies
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