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but the idea of an open relationship is that relationships are contracts and those contract parameters can be altered on agreement by the parties its an honesty based and contractual relationship as as the parameters are changed BEFORE the act takes place its allowed. So you have the fight about him cheating before he actually does it. There are still going to be bad feelings but if you are going to STAY in this relationship some honest communication would be a good thing. mature amateurs swingers on Unity Oregon ln
There was a fairly large break within the feminist movement several years ago (beginning in the late 70s, picking up steam in the 80's, exploding briefly in the 90's, and then quietly vanishing, at least as far as the mainstream was concerned) that was over exactly what you are discussing. A lot of artistic and scholarly work was done by queer women of color at that time, not so much as part of the feminist movement, but precisely intending to say that they were not part of it, and to ask why. People like AnzaldĂșa, Cisneros, Lord. There are any number of complex theories as to why this happens. Power. Bias. Racism or privilege amongst white feminists. Without disagreeing with any of those I think there's a little something to all of them I think a more fundamental issue that tends to affect almost any crusading cause is that they struggle very deeply with being able to recognize people as individuals. Often by definition, they are fighting for "women" or "the poor" (generic) and have blind spots when it comes to what those individual poor people or women or queers or whatever actually look like, and what their different needs and cultures are like. More dangerously, they tend to any sort of difference as fracturing "the cause," and so they are more than willing to throw individuals under the bus if they do not conform lock step to the vision of what "woman" is. Ultimately, "the cause" becomes more important and than the people within it. Women become more important than woman. This is a danger of fighting for ideas and not for people, and it is certainly not limited to white ladies. I do not think it is unavoidable, but it is often the likely outcome. IMHO, the only way to avoid it is to learn how to be willing to compromise and to learn to accept that real life requires some levels of injustice. Human life CANNOT be perfect. This is a cold position to take and so refuse to take it, but the result is that they become willing to fight the slightest injustice with disproportionate violence. Personally, I would rather be realistic and a little cold than naive and deadly. discreet younger girlfriend to treat goodThanks for your thoughtful response very well said that tension between enjoying the denial and longing for release. I go back and forth on whether it is better to know when release is coming, as in our first game, or not, as is presently the case. The thing I am finding enjoyable about not knowing is that it gets me reeling even harder and hornier every time we end a session with her telling me I'm not allowed and that feeling of helplessness and not knowing and the (good) anxiety of the possibility of pushing it much further than I would have ever agreed at the outset if we had set a date certain. I want to be pushed. I want to experience that insane horniness of pushed to the limit and beyond. On the other hand, knowing makes coping a little easier and builds all kinds of crazy excitement when that day finally rolls around with the knowledge that today is the day. But even then, part of me fantasized that she would go back on our agreement for that day and after bringing me to edge when I think I'm finally going to get release have her push it just one more day! hot chick
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