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I would say both spent a lot of time not just distracted and asking people for advice ..but waffling from focused on fixing the issues to kicking the spouse to the curb. I can remember one evening in particular where I thought one of the marriages was a done deal after the husband vented to me. That was because I couldn't myself accepting some one pulling the kind of shit he described. There was hate in his voice. Truth is .I just hadn't come face to face with what he was dealing with. Not yet anyway. I think that's the beauty of the human condition .there are some who can do all the shit "wrong" and end up coming through a crisis and the next couple can do it all 'right' and lose. How times have you known a couple and thought .-, I don't get it? But they're happy. That's why life is so challenging it just doesn't fall into nice neat packages.. do you like naughty irish granny like me seeking a Calpella California fairytale
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