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Get into counseling, STAT, set your hormones (her-moans) aside, and put on your thinking cap. don't bite so hard at Unselfemployed. She's right. You're in a situation of your own making, and only you can fix it. We can all say, "Oh, poor. What a mean he is, you poor little lamb." But what good does that do? As someone pointed out, you can't change what you don't acknowledge. To own your mistakes is to learn from them. You need to buckle up and be strong now. Other lives depend on the decisions you make. My impulse is to suggest adoption, as you've already got your hands full. You think I'm heartless, but actually, I'm all heart (well, alright, I am a woman of heart AND mind). My heart goes out to you, but even more to your, and to your unborn. I am contemplating what is in their best interests. And a confused mother, overwhelmed, likely unemployed, economiy insolvent, involved with an immature, irresponsible (who cheats), does not a mother make. Your Pan guy? Let him fly. If he grows up and gets into counseling with you, and seriously gets with the program (with actions words are cheap), you might let him earn his way back into your life. But let him in too easily, and you teach him that you'll tolerate anything. Demand better for yourself, your, and your unborn. I promise, being alone is far better than being in a turbulent relationship while you're trying to make a home for you and your -(ren). If you choose to keep this, he have no choice but to support him/her. Flip side of that coin is, you have no choice but to maintain a civil relationship with him with as you navigate custody, visitation, support, all that good stuff. Like I said, counseling, stat. You've got a lot to work out. I wish you the best of luck, and a lot of expert guidance. need some men mSorry to so smart ass comments in here. I'm a divorced dad, went through a drawn of divorce. Here are some comments First, get an attorney and don't take anything the other side says as true it probably isn't. support can be based upon statutory guidelines but don't HAVE to be. I would view that as a minimum. Generally, alimony is separate, and can continue for the number of years of the marriage. The courts have recognized that divorce means things are over, NOT that the wife gets to continue the same lifestyle forever. If you get remarried, alimony stops. The court well look at sustaining the standard of living the is used to until he graduates from HS if that is possible. Expect a lifestyle change you said you wanted a divorce ten years ago, so you should be happy and recognize that with that, comes some adjustment. Do your best to negotiate a settlement you can live with. Attorneys burn up LOTS of money in discovery, depositions, etc, all of which is generally useless. Keep the money away from them as much as possible so there is more for you and your ex husband to work with. My most important comment. If your ex is a decent dad, then agree to custody. If he is a good dad, he fight to the end of the earth to get it ..mom's who fight equal custody simply don't have the interests of the at heart. IT IS best for the. Separate parenting issues from divorce, and NEVER EVER say anything bad about the dad eventually your sone resent you if you do. focus on moving on, don't let this consume you .it is tough, it is a huge change, but don't let it define who you are ..you lose in the end lose friends, lose money and possible lose the respont of your. I that helps. asian dating
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