Re: too much I read the post and heard my own words. You cry out in agony and despair..hopeless because you know it will not change and the addiction to him will not let you let go of this tortured state. It's a slow death due to a lethal combination. When he said good bye I couldn't breathe and still weep uncontrollably. His harsh with his words and feels not an ounce of pain, loss, regrett, and laughs at me because I do. It goes on to hate. How does this feel..he doesn't care..he only cares about himself. I look at myself as a sick person for wanting this person in my life and wasting 8 years being lied to and emotionally. I hate that I let him do that. I know the hate you feel and sadness so deep and dark that you don't want to wake up in the morning. I too al alone in the world. No one would even care if I was gone and I would be free of the pain that consumes me. You at least have. Your family and friends too. I don't have that. You need to make a decision and when you do you can not turn back. Your family and friends will be there for you..I know it. Why cuz they love you and want to see you and happy again. They will support you. You need to trust that and take the help..only if you truly want to change your life. Your the only one that can do that. Find the courage and/or when you reach your limit you will do it because you will be in survival. You have to reach your breaking point and than there will be silence which means you have accepted it and are numb. The cry for help that I read here from you tells me you are there. Once you are pushed to the edge jump and run and don't look back..focus on what's ahead. It won't be easy but you will get sick of crying too. Write down the words AND things that hurt you the most that he did and every time you break down look at the list abc read it over and over. It will sink in and you will start to close the chapter with him in it. You have worth and someone out there is looking for you too! Someone that will ta Array fat mature Manukau womenMr. Olson I highly doubt you'll ever see this but..here we go, Your incredibly handsome and have this crazy weird charm about you. It could just be you being a kind genuien person or maybe you are interested? I try so hard to just keep my head down every time you walk by to stop myself from looking like a totally creep with a high like crush lol. I'm positive you'll know who I am if you ever see this..contact me if you do :) white male looking for friends maybe more girls only adult nursing relationship
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