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Yet the reality is her lovers give her more intense sexual than I do. When I say this I mean it purely on sexual level. One thing this life style has taught her is how to compartmentalize her sexuality and sexual pleasure. She has the ability to separate sex from and understands that her lovers are for sex. Yet when they are together, the power of their sex is so real and raw. Our sex is loving and intimate and wonderful. Their sex is powerful and deliberate and epic. I know it sounds odd, but the course of their relationships has been much like a heavyweight boxing match. Two finely tuned athletes first feeling each other out and then eventually standing toe to toe, delivering blow after blow, challenging the other give rise up and find their best, finishing the match totally spent and exhausted. Being a part of it for me is a thrill. I her so dearly and seeing her realize the fullness of her sexuality in the context of our marriage and the pleasure that has brought to both of us is nearly beyond description. And being able to share intimacies, and kink with her on my own right is a in and of itself. Yet in the midst of all this, sex and kink, I'd be lying if I didn't recognize a certain amount of uneasiness, nervousness perhaps even anxiety. I'm thrilled she's so fulfilled but why can't I be the one who provides it? What if I were capable of giving her THOSE kind of orgasms? don't get me wrong, I'm far from saying that I'm ready to reign things back in a more monogamous fashion. And I have shared these concerns with her and she gets it. She is very sensitive to my needs. We spend a lot of time cuddling and talking, sometimes immediately after they've finished fucking. This has been great. The only thing we haven't talked about is ending the lifestyle and going back. I'm not saying I want that. If I did I'd feel comfortable saying it to her. Yet at the same time I just feel like, in ways, the dye has been cast. There is no turning back. I'm not sure now our relationship could withstand it. I guess this has been an extremely way of me asking a very simple question. For those involved in this lifestyle, have you experienced this feeling I've described? Of wanting all this for your spouse, yet at the same time being somewhat conflicted by it? granny sex tonight in Garegushkthe larger tendencies on the forum. For instance, I noticely that with a fair amount of consistency, if someone on the forum makes a statement to the effect that a particular woman is hawt or sexy, or they like this or that particular thing, there is a tendency for that person to receive negs or statements to the effect that it is not okay to objectify women. On the other hand, it currently appears that it is okay to say that certain overall categories of women are NOT of personal appeal. So, I guess I am probably missing something, but it seems to me like the following individual statements hold to general forum opinion: 1) It is not okay to talk about how hawt *particular* women are. 2) It is okay to talk about how not-hawt overall groups of women are. So, by these two criteria, would it be okay for me to say that (completely hypothetiy) women do nothing for me? But I could not say that the Icelandic prime minister makes me all tingly? Are those statements acceptable or not when they are reversed? Like could I say that does *not* do it for me but black women *do* do it for me? Is it okay to talk about how ugly specific women are, and how hawt whole groups of women are? I could be wrong, but what I think is actually underlying this is that the statements that tend to fly are the ones that champion underrepresented groups and/or denigrate exalted norms. But statements that put down the underdog are totally uncool. Yea? Nay? chat roulette
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