Where are you? I hate this baby. I'm so close to you now but my heart wants to give up. I've read so many books since your last letter I wrote, about Soulmates and The condition of the Soul. It has really enlightened me alot but at the same time taught me something I already knew in my heart, that everyone does have a other half. Im getting where I can't search anymore baby. I go out and get drunk to numb the pain of not having you to love but that only makes it worse, I end up home alone crying myself to sleep. It always seems like a good idea to begin with though. Now that I moved you must be close though because I feel you everywhere I go, the breeze blows my direction and I can smell this divine scent that fills me with thoughts and emotions like no other womans smell could. Its like my soul instantly knows that its you. I still see you in my dreams and sometimes wake up expecting to see you beside me but your not there, problem is it has gotten worse now. Are you close? Is that why this stigmata is happening to me? Its gotten so strong now I cant take it, every morning your still not beside me sleeping sweetly and every night I cry to my pillow which cuts into me deeper and deeper, it pains me like no other. My friends tell me that maybe giving up is what it takes but they don't understand me. So much love built up inside and only one woman to give it too. If only you were here they would understand then. However giving up sounds easier and easier as the lonely days pass. If I didnt have this opportunity to let these feelings out in these letters I have no idea what condition I would be in. The feelings build up so strong and like a balloon im ready to burst, then I either get drunk or write, or both. How much longer this can go on I don't know, im going to either die drowning my heartache or find you and satisfy my souls longing to be whole. Hopefully the latter. I just dont understand why I hear your voice at night and smell you so much more now. What are yo Array chat anyonelooking for ladies 4555cuddle? ^.^ m4w Its cold. And I. Feel like cuddling :)
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i want a cute Huntington Arkansas boy about 6 months ago i moved in with a friend of mine whom i've had a crush on for some time. i knew it was a bad idea from the start, you just don't move in with a crush. he's straight, which makes this more difficult. but as of recent, i catch him leaning against me, gently, pushing his knee against mine. on occaision he rests his head on my shoulder when i'm leaning against the banister with his arm around me. he loves to wrestle around when we're drunk but when we wrestle around i feel his grip or 'hug' become more relaxed, or sensual. there's been numerous occaisions where's he's just held me for a minute. i don't know how quite to describe what he does but i feel an intimacy in him. on repeated occaisions he's fallen asleep in my bed. i'm not certain that he's, he mentions girls, i said he was straight, or even questioning, but despite what he is, he's not playing a fair game. anyone in this community, hopefully, can understand the inner turmoil this brings about. i don't know what to do. do i risk ruining a friendship on the premis of needing to 'find out' by making a move or do i suffer never knowing? i say suffer, which suggests something awful, but the truth is this; he's my best friend, only person in the world i'd take a bullet for. despite the crush, i this boy dearly, with sincerety, not lust. so i'm in a pickle. where do i draw the line? what're appropriate means for dealing with this situation? i feel miserable, and i guess i'm looking for some solace. anyone here ever experience a similar situation? anyone who has have any suggestions for dealing with this appropriately? the bottom line is i don't want to damage a friendship, and friendship aside, i'm contractually obligated to live with this boy until november because of our 'm conflicted. hosting now and tonight
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