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The narcissist lacks empathy. Consequently, he is not really interested in the lives, emotions, needs, preferences, and hopes of people around him. Even his nearest and dearest are, to him, mere instruments of gratification. They require his undivided attention only when they "malfunction" when they become disobedient, independent, or critical. He loses all interest in them if they cannot be "fixed" (for instance, when they are terminally ill). People find the narcissist "cold", "inhuman", "heartless", "clueless", "robotic or machine-like". Early on in life, the narcissist learns to disguise his socially-unacceptable indifference as benevolence, equanimity, cool-headedness, composure, or superiority. "It is not that I don't care about others" he shrugs off his critics "I am simply more level-headed, more resilient, more composed under pressure They mistake my equanimity for apathy." The narcissist tries to convince people that he is compassionate. His profound lack of interest in his spouse's life, vocation, interests, hobbies, and whereabouts he cloaks as benevolent altruism. "I give her all the freedom she can wish for!" he protests "I don't spy on her, follow her, or nag her with endless questions. I don't bother her. I let her lead her life the way she sees fit and don't interfere in her affairs!". He makes a virtue out of his emotional truancy. All very commendable but when taken to extremes such benign neglect turns malignant and signifies the voidance of true and attachment. The narcissist's emotional (and, often, physical) absence from all his relationships is a form of aggression and a defense against his own thoroughly repressed feelings. In rare moments of self-awareness, the narcissist realizes that without his input even in the form of feigned emotions people abandon him. He then swings from cruel aloofness to maudlin and grandiose gestures intended to demonstrate the "larger than life" nature of his sentiments. This bizarre pendulum only proves the narcissist's inadequacy at maintaining adult relationships. It convinces no one and repels. im a good time girl
>>my GF feels sad that she usually refuses invites and is lonely. Is loneliness an issue the BFF has expressed, or is it a fear your gf is having on her behalf? I experience a certain level of social anxiety and often happily choose hermitude, and honestly people fretting over my choices (because it isn't what they'd choose) can sometimes get irksome. sluts from EffinghamAnd as for talking to women, there's at least one strategy that works for women, men, and the elderly, in every situation, any day. It requires showing an interest in them, their lives, and their feelings and opinions, and it starts with How's you're day going? Substitute How was your morning? How was your weekend? How was your night? as logical. If necessary, follow up with, Oh yeah, what've you been up to? Your conversational partner reply with *some* information of some kind, about which you can then ask follow-up questions to help unfold the conversation. Chances are, your lass mention something about classes, family, friends, work, or similar, and then you can ask all about any one of those subjects. Even if her reply is that she's been vegging out watching TV all morning, you can ask her all about the shows she watched and likes. Once you master getting this far, your next level of skill is to volunteer related information about yourself and your own life. Peppering conversation about, say, her parents and sister, with related thoughts about your own parents and brother. Your final level of mastery is to ask how she *feels* about any of the information she tells you. You can also share your feelings about your own information and even ask her for her opinions and advice about it. When you ask a woman about her feelings and for her advice, she believe you care about her and respect her. internet dating service
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