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about the touch issues. Does anyone touch you, during a typical week? I think you're all kinds of crazy but touch-deprivation could be a part of it. Get a manicure. It look nice and someone touch the heck out of you for an hour, hand and arm massages, business like skin on skin. But when you are deprived it can make you feel sane again. A gentleman's manicure, if you don't know about those. (No polish ) Then find some therapy. It's worth the money. Your attraction to this girl you barely know is toxic and unnatural. don't feed it. Distract yourself. Cut all contact. And just plain leave the poor girl alone: you are just focusing on her to distract yourself from some inner pain you don't want to face. You don't necessarily have to face it; but you have to fill your hours with activities so that you can become grounded and normalized. You are way off balance. Swing dance., inexpensive, good exercise, they usually give dance lessons around 8 and go until 11 so it isn't outside a work schedule, and you change partners every round and people touch hands arms and backs. Your head spins around a lot so it be easier not to think or fall into your obsession. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or old folks home, lots of other lonely people who can help your perspective. Are you getting what other people are saying, about how creepy this is? Do you count the hours between other events of your life? Chemistry labs? Eating artichokes? Seeing a bluebird? any females look herethe business. He put himself into a frying pan and he decided to forgo certain things to survive. You became a threat to him because you required time, loving, and caring. I know nice people who instantly became assholes when they started their first MBA or Law job. Especially when they were thrown into a sink-or-swim situation of raw aggression. His tears meant that he recognized he was loosing something of significance to him. But in his mind, success was more important. The other possibility is that he met another woman who is an business asshole like himself, who he feels more comfortable with in pursuing success in life. Businessmen are often hard core assholes when it comes to marriage. Most either want business partners or trophies as a wives. Maybe you are better off that this thing ended. His heart is dying, yours is still alive. online dating sites
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