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Background: DW and I both hold down full-time jobs and we are both pursuing advanced degrees in our field. I just finished my MS and she is just starting hers. I am currently pursuing a PhD. Our careers, our pets, and our family (parents, aunts, uncles, no -) keep us very equally busy, but my schedule is more flexible and more forgiving. I worked/schooled from 6:30am to 6:30pm today while DW worked/is schooling from 8am to 8:40pm. Both of us have had, tiresome days. We've had an abrupt schedule change in the past week and our house has become a sty. Laundry is piling up, the yard needs to be weeded/mowed, the flowers need to watered, the pets need attention, dishes need to be done, beds need to be made, etc etc. We share our domestic duties well. There is no defined division of labor in our house but typiy DW does laundry, I cook/do dishes and we share the cleaning responsibilities. We swap roles and help each other out all the time, but that is generally how it goes. Since DW has had such a day, I've been working hard trying to get the house cleaner we're both neat freaks (her moreso than me) and it stresses us out when the house is a mess. However, there is going to be a slight tiff when she gets home it happens every time. I've spent the rest of my day cleaning the house I'm working on laundry, vacuuming, cleaning cat boxes, dishes, mopping, the yard, etc etc. DW come home, notice the house is clean and then nit pick what I've done wrong or not quite right. I realize that her moodiness is stemming from her (and my) exhaustion. I don't know how to respond to her nitpicking. If I ignore it, she things I'm upset (which to a point, I am) if I bite the bullet and agree she thinks I'm being insincere, and if I get mad an argument ensues. What is the best way to respond to this situation I feel like its a lose-lose. We're not normally like this, but the new schedule is taking a toll on us and it take a while to get used to. I'm not asking for a standing ovation for cleaning our home I'd just like to not be criticized for not doing it as well as she would. Sorry for the length male sub needed today
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