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I would like to hear from either a person who has a term bf/spouse who loves to flirt or from a person whose been in a term relationship and they knows they’re a big ‘ol flirt but your partner loves you to death anyway. I have a boyfriend of 3 years (we’ve known each other for more) and he’s always enjoyed the attention when it comes his way, but lately I’ve noticed that for whatever reason, he’s become so comfortable or used to getting it that he now: A. Comments about other random or celebrity women he finds attractive in front of me in ways that none of our other male friends do. “She’s got PERFECT breasts.” Or who’s that? “Every guys wet dream.” B. There have been 3-4 instances in the past 3 years where a female friend or coworker of his has crossed the line and he didn’t speak up to reinforce appropriate boundaries (I’m not asking for a scene, a polite quiet comment or funny joke that gets the main message across would do just fine) I believe he is either in a clinging-to-my-bachelorhood phase since our relationship is on the cusp of being the Real Deal or this is a part of his personality that he have been trying to hibernate (though not very well) and now it’s coming to the painful light of day. If it’s a phase, I am trying to get us through it. If it is a part of his personality, I want to know how you ladies handle this kind of behavior? Or how you gentleman help your ladies understand that this is just a way you communicate and if there can be any reassurance that this behavior is not indicative to how secure/insecure you are in your current committed relationship? I have never been a jealous girlfriend. I totally admit that flirting has become a very common way for people to chit chat and have a nice time harmlessly. But I don’t do it in front of my partners out of respect. Because I don’t really care for it when it happens to me blatantly. However I’d like to try to do what I can and meet him halfway with this if he means it when he says he is very committed to me. PS – This guy is kinda behind me in the years of maturity. We’re the same age, but I have much more life experience in general. real woman witha real guy needs
where "it" is untrammeled vomiting of unapologetiy psychopathic behavior stemming from bipolar disorder. I've never been in a relationship with someone like that, but I've certainly had my share of bosses with it, including the last one. It's a common thing in the restaurant industry, and the better the restaurant, the more you have to remain quiet about it thanks to the power chefs have over a cook's future career path. At least with a personal relationship, you can pack up your stuff and walk away, most likely with no effect on your next relationship. I on the other hand always have had to deal with my psycho ex-boss as as I list his restaurant on my resume. And I have to; it was a significant chunk of time and I had a huge role in his success. Fortunately he didn't succeed in sabotaging me with my new boss, who decided to hire me anyway on the strength of that success, but I still only have a negative job reference to show for my efforts. Needless to say, I'm not holding my breath for a thankyou. At base, adults are ultimately responsible for their own behavior. At some point, there is a choice to be made, fucked up chemistry or not: do you want to be a hurricane, constantly leaving a trail of carnage for someone to clean up All. The. Fucking. Time. while making the cleaners kiss your ass and say it tastes like ice cream, or you grow up and be the person who adds to the peace in the world and tries to make it right? Sometimes, the only way for that person to finally perceive this choice is for the people around them to leave. If it were up to me, I would not stay. I wish it could have been as easy as that for my line of work. It's been a few weeks now and I'm still trying to shake off the effects. It's perfectly possible to someone who can't do right by you, but the safest way to do that is from afar. Bipolar disorder is a disease dangerous to everyone around it, and often works in cahoots with all sorts of emotional incompetence and substance. It can't be treated without both firm committment and professional intervention. I want to say again, yay you for having a choice to leave which won't reflect badly on you in your next relationship. :-p Take it! verysmart funny sweet boy seekingI actually know quiet a bit about buddhism, in the scholarly sense. I have studied it extensively in college and grad school. It is amazing how you can study something and understand it intellectually but not "get" it. I "got" it for the first time when my grandmother died. I had an amazing vision of a girl being born and somehow "knowing" that the soul of my grandmother was being reborn. Maybe it was searching for some sort of solace and comfort, maybe it was wishful thinking, but it came to me without conscious thought my unconscious taking everythign I studied and all the crap with Catholic bull that I had been struggling against and it just worked for me. One of the very few unconscious religious moments or awakenings I have ever had. But I struggle with societal acceptance in my suburban New England town. I have a spouse whom I dearly, but doesn't understand or want our (being raised by lesbians) to be buddhist and be even weirder. There are no temples, no communities of Buddhists near me that have any vibrance. Finding a buddhist community, never mind a particular sect, would be difficult. UU appeals to me. It has the meditative qualities that I am looking for. It allows for the individuals own path to the divine. I am strugglng with accepting human flaws right now I recently moved. I had been attending a UU church and was very moved each service by the reverand. FOr some reason, the UU church closest to my new house is lackluster. Small congregation and for the past two weeks, lay leaders have been running it and it has failed to move me too much ego dripping out of them. So, still I search. sex with a married woman
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