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IRL I vacillate wildly between telling outrageous stories, having pretentious philosophical discussions, and being a complete hermetic shut-in. I've recently noticed it seems to have to do with the seasons. I'm wondering about SAD. Anyway, since the fo' has been slow as shit today, here's one of my stories: So, when I was in high school I lived for one year in this teeny, teeny ass town in Colorado where my mother was the City Clerk. Now, my mother takes infinite pleasure in teasing and annoying me (it's genetic, apparently), and one of her favorite things to do is pinch my ass. I have no idea why, except that it annoys the hell out of me. So, anyway, I go up to her office one day and there she is, standing over her desk, riffling through papers and looking for something while her friend S. was sitting behind the desk hunting around, too. The door was behind my mother, so when I went in, there was her huge (huge. huge! her ass is huge) ass right in my face, so of COURSE I had to run up and pinchpinchpinchpinch it like ten times. S.'s mouth dropped open, and my mother slowly, slowly stood up, turned around, and just stared at me like I was frigging crazy, at which point I managed to yelp out, "Aaaah!!!! You're not my mother!" Turns out it was, the Assistant Fire Chief for the county, and here I am, dumb fuck closeted 17 year old Ax pinching her ass. The entire next year, every time I saw her, she would giggle and wave like a little school girl just to fuck with me and my blush. Worst. Punishment. Ever. fuck girl in front of 7 11The heat caused my automatic life jacket to fire . that is about $25 to recharge. Next, I dropped overboard a piece of stainless steel tubing with fancy end caps to the tune of about $80. So I went diving in the filth of the to no avail. Today, I borrowed oysters tongs and tried to find it at low tide to no avail, so I got a common yard rake and taped the boat hook to it so I could just keep groping for it with another swim in the filth I am happy to report the stainless tubing is back on board. YIPEE, happy dance!!! Hot as hell and no A/C, the boat is hovering around 98 right now. Tuesday is cheap movie day and it is dark and cool. I am thinking it is MOVIE TIME. dating website
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