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I'm gonna be kind of blunt about this. your mother betrayed the parent/- bond on about fifteen different levels when you were younger and staying away from her was a good idea. however that doesn't stop any human with a heart from wishing that their mother was a good and loving person and gee, why am I not surprised that she flipped out, denied any responsibility, and asked you for complicity and silence instead of forgiveness? I suspect that you have resorted to porn because, rather than being an exemplary, ethical or loving mother, and offering at least to enter therapy on her own (if she was the least bit serious, family counseling would be on the table) she continued the tradition of putting her needs ahead of yours and maybe, having lacked some basic building blocks of relationships (honesty, trust, compassion) growing up, you're having a hard time putting these things together in your outside life? no, your relationship is not good and. and my heart's a little broken for you, as it is for all the survivors of. you might add 'Another to Get it Right' by Vachss, and 'For Your Own Good' by Miller to your reading list but honestly? I think one of the best authors out there on the subject of lost childhoods, and the way we as adults have to be both parent and to our present selves? is a guy named DeLint. Writes really stuff about really, really hard subjects. I think some of his characters strike a chord with you, and maybe help. seeking wild dyed submissive
This Friday be another trial session right after my shift. My last trial session (different place) had led to yet another Iron Chef style challenge at the very end, which was unexpected and nervewracking, but I did well and am waiting for a second interview. We'll. Whatever the case, it was an incredibly satisfying feeling to shut all the boys up while the sous chef told me how mine was definitely one of the better dishes they've come across in their recent batch of candidates. If I accept and hold onto the job I'm trying out for this Friday while keeping my current job, it sure would be a hoot to list on my resume being an AM lead and a PM lead in the same year at the same time in two different restaurants. i love big chickstime now about leaving my spouse. I have been so torn that the stress is unbelievable. Well, REVAMPED helped tremendously yesterday. I finally decided to seek some help, I know it has to end, but sometimes your own words coming from another person, like REVAMPED said, just seem to be different. I talked with a counselor and they gave me some sound advice, to quit pushing it. Just sit back and one day they push all the right buttons at the right time and you leave without a second thought. You won't think about anything you have and since you already have a list, you are just ready but not convinced. I arose this morning, I have been sick for about a week and so sick and tired of it! But anyway my first site for the day was them sitting on their loveseat; surrounded by nothing but garbage; computering away with a plate balanced on their stomach jamming food in. They have no thoughts in their mind, they skate thru life, equals food and eating. Nothing exists. Although they have a list a mile to accomplish and the stuff is piled all around to get it down, they were just sitting there, totally unaware of their surroundings. I think if I wouldn't have been so sick, today might have been the day. Thanks for letting me vent. asian woman
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