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I think we can’t help but make evaluations of these issues without the complete picture, because the picture is so large and all sides often feel like they are fighting for their livelihood in one way or another which make a clear assessment difficult. I don’t understand the full details of anything having to do with taxes, so I also don’t have a full picture. I say that the tax credit given towards care is supposed to be a way of helping parents. When I did pay for day care it cost a month per (I had one), that’s a year, I believe my tax return was around that year and I don’t know how much was from that credit. I also got help paying for daycare from the government and my parents and grandparents because the cost was over half my salary. It helped but I would still have been classified as below poverty level. And as far as I know the wealthy get the same credit. If you pay more for care you get more back. I suppose in that sense it seems a little unfair, If they wanted to help I would have liked the option to pay for safer or more productive care myself. Over all it seems to me like If I pay for example 10% percent of mine and you pay 10% of yours that should be fair enough. But I know it gets more complicated than that. u s marine looking for his one1. if he was ORDERED to go to counseling, just mention that you think it is important and that you follow up with contempt charges. if he still doesn't listen, ask your lawyer to send him something in the mail so he get the picture. otherwise, if you don't hold him accountable, it does you no good to get into forum discussions. we can't help you enforce a court order 2. women are prone to exaggerate issues with their husband/ex. his behavior might bother you, but you are much more likely to look for problems and blow them out of proportion because you are divorced now. just look at the language you use: "not one bit of attention", "the damage he is doing is devastating". other divorced women rally to your cause, but keep in mind that professionals, lawyers, judges, and the civilized world in general is not going to take you seriously when you talk like this. next time, try saying it like this: "I am divorced. Obviously, that can be difficult, we are both of us hurting, as well as the. My ex seems to be ignoring the when they visit, I wonder if maybe he is going through difficulties that make it hard for him to give them his full attention. Anyway, how can I encourage him to interact with the, which they need and?" that sounds better now doesn't it? 3. the boys spent the day playing with someone in their age group. what is the problem here? ARE SUPPOSED TO PLAY WITH OTHER. again, you are looking for problems. you don't like that he has a girlfriend, but it do you and the a lot of good if you could just GET OVER IT. 4. "the damage he is doing ." No. You married and then divorced. The damage is already done. Take a look at your new situation and learn to adjust. My suggestion? Talk to the father. If that doesn't work, then throw your arms up in the air, because you are out of options. Your situation isn't exactly the kind of material that's going to be dramatized in a made-for-tv movie. Be thankful that you have a pair of breasts, becuase that fact, more than anything your lawyer did, has earned you the position of "primary caregiver", and has resulted in you seeing your for the overwhelming majority of their years growing up. dating older women
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