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I agree that for your daughter's sake it's crucial to consider her father's situation. I you agree it's equally crucial to consider YOUR situation. Now that your husband has clearly moved on, you are damaging your psychological financial stability by imagining it's your duty to live with him support him. Your unhappiness self-sacrifice is every bit as bad for your daughter and IMO worse than facing reality building a sane, stable life for your. If you continue this charade, you end up too broke, bitter, betrayed stressed to be the kind of mother your deserves. Sphynx mentioned the obvious solution. Cut him loose spend your money on airfare. Yes, it's less than ideal for your kid's father to live in another country. But it's WORSE to let yourself be victimized for years. Your NEEDS a sane, resourceful mother who can handle difficult realities. She doesn't need a doormat, infidelity, a live-in dad who treats his wife like shit, or a mom who enables it. YOU are her role model for marriage. Would you let a treat her this way? Divorce is easier on. The longer you wait, the harder it be for your kid. For her sake, END THIS FARCE. It's SO much sicker, uglier, dishonest than the respectable alternative of having daddy leave to get a job and visit as often as he can. You're not going to like this last part. But even if you don't agree w/ a word of it, come to your senses admit that ending a profoundly unhealthy living arrangement IS in your daughter's best interest. IMO you were used for a GC. Whether I'm wrong or right, it's safe to assume that your ex move out-of-state remarry as as he can. If he's been primary caretaker, he has a good shot at getting custody. Do you have any idea how you'll feel after buying him his wife the right to take your daughter away? Maybe he deserves primary custody. I'm not saying it should go to mom in all situations. Just be aware the selfishness he's displaying now NOT change once you're divorced. He doesn't mind spending your money he sure won't mind taking your kid away. You SO regret your masochism when he new mommy move your kid to CA. You not be happy. The way you've allowed yourself to be used finally sink in. don't imagine your misery not affect your kid. wanting to find happiness
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