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You've supported her, listen to her talk about all the wrongs that the ex did to her. You bent over backwards and pulled this girl out of the mud. And now, she tells you that she let him stay over. Hurts bad. You are the rebound. It seems as if she's heading right back to the mud doesnt it? What should you do? Let her go. "But why should I do that, Ubel? Didn't you read my post? I did everything for this girl!" Except make her feel needed. Thats the advantage that the other guy has on you. Its not the money or anything. I understand that this is completely unfair to you, but confronting him and telling her not to him is a waste of time., normally, a guy like you, who listens to a girl cry about another guy, supports her wipes her tears and all normally guys like you receive the 'friends' speech. "So, what are you saying, Ubel I should be more of a to girls?" No, YOU overlooked the big red signifying that she wasnt over this guy. She's not over this guy, and that makes you a rebound. Be you, dont be a rebound. "But I dont want to lose her to him." Thats just it. You are a rebound. You never had her. Look at your post. Revamped said, "Wow, you seem to know an awful lot about him." So let her go. "Should I wait for her?" And be a second class? Hell no. Painful yes, but nowhere as painful as waiting for this girl to get over a bum. "But Ubel, I her." Even cant fix stupid. And she's defintely stupid. She knows he only brings trouble, and she does it anyway. Be sure to have a cool head when you speak to her. Dont burn any bridges because there is a that she awaken from her folly rather quickly when you exit the picture. looking 4 breakfastso if YOU did not originally come up with the figures as what you would settle with and sign off on you ARE running the risk of escalating and creating a bad situation for you at home. Honestly, with drinking and irresponsibility already in the picture I have NO idea why you have not opened your own checking and savings account for your paychecks to go into, withdrawn half of the joint account and put it safely into savings for now, and printed out the DMV forms to change the registration and set up your own insurance policy to kick in asap! And you should have been securing your personal posessions in a locked room he cannot access or a storage facility for safety in any case if he is not always in charge of his actions, a la drinking. Unfortunately, today is a bank holiday and lots of things are closed. Fortunately, if your lawyer sent it in the mail today it won't even be picked UP until tomorrow for the same reasons. Get home, make s to the insurance company, you have to set up the new policy AND fil out a waiver removing him formally since you both reside in the same residence still. If you have online access to the joint account, view and print the account balance and the last month's charges for the record; then get down there and either ATM or one half of the float out. If there normally ISN'T any float, and you are worried about him just withdrawing the money used to pay the bills, YOU take the money out NOW- then, as each is electroniy due YOU deposit ONLY the sum needed to cover the bills no more than 24 hours prior; keep careful logs and lists of these actions and the bills due for the record. IF your paycheck is STILL going into the joint account, contact your PR department immediately to correct it to your new account, but expect it to take a MINIMUM of 3 weeks. Why hasn't your lawyer recommended any of these basic actions when filing for a divorce? Or, if they have, why haven't you DONE them?? Seriously, this is critical basic stuff when you AREN'T divorcing a drinker and having lawyers send demand letters! intimate encounter
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