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because people tend to idealize the fantasy of a threesome to the point of wanting to rush through the reality of getting to know that third person on a platonic level outside the bedroom before pushing them to jump into bed faster than they're comfortable. When you're in a relationship already, it's easier to focus more on the sexual aspect of a third party than on their emotional and intellectual aspects. That third person, especially if single, is likely looking for someone(s) to get to know them as a complete person before they are comfy sharing themselves sexually. Take your time. Make friends. Stop focusing your search exclusively on looking for a threesome, and you find that some of the friends you take the time to get to know actually approach YOU about a threesome. The best threesomes I ever had were initiated by the third party, rather than by the established couple. need special understanding for this
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