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married and horny who was selling street newspapers I read somewhere that for straight men, a midlife crisis usually involves a sports car or a blonde with big tits. With men, it involves. I can attest to that. My group were all fairly serious and hard working people. We went to Club Universe maybe once or twice a year and had a few drinks. Or to Phoenix or Badlands once in a blue. We'd pass around a joint camping in the or somewhere up on the north coast. Boring, right? Yeah, but we were happy. Looking back, I know that. A few friends tried E when it got big in SF, and raved about how great it was, and more friends tried it. Starting out with half a tab and loving it. Then of course, more was needed. much our whole extended group started dropping E and going out to Universe and P-dome more than ever. It was our tribal ritual. Then Universe vanished and everyone got depressed with the scene and did even more. In the last few years everyone in the group has dropped more E than they ever thought they would. Now of course E isn't enough. They've figured out how to start out the night with a cocktail or two, drop E, and move on to K and G as the night progresses. And this is the part of the story you knew was coming more than a few of them fell in with. Now I have this problem; I pause and myself moving away, and my boyfriend and all of the group still moving toward more and more consumption. Lately I've been feeling "less is more" I'm not judging them and I'm not taking a strong position for or against. But I've been there and lived it and don't especially enjoy seeing the crazed frenzy of HAVING FUN even when you are miserable inside, of taking more and more of whatever substances are available and hoping to feel better. I know it's not real for me. And it's definitely not sustainable and I don't want my life to head that way. The less is more philosphy doesn't go over well with the party party party friends. So I withdraw and get lonely. I have a couple of good friends who are not all about and are more apt to be mindful and reflective. Which keeps me sane, because often I feel totally alone and fucked up and I know that I should not be feeling that way. But when your crowd goes toward that midlife crisis, and keeps going, and you don't follow that's how it feels. Anyone been there and back?
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