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When I worked in security, we learned this fascinatingly simple thing they ed Escalation of Force (they even had a cute little professional poster like the kind we had in grade school, except about the proper way to beat people). Anyway, sometimes you tease me because you say I think you act too mean. So now I tease you for accusing me of acting too nice. I think in any situation there are *stages* of response that make sense. In a situation that begins at a low level, the response you detailed IMHO is too. What if the women wasn't even aware that she knew people, and all it would take to turn her to being pro rights was realizing someone close to her was a lesbian? In that case, the best thing you might be able to do would be to friend her and be out, and that could be all it took to open up her world. But if you start out at your stage, then you almost certainly guarantee that she hate all people forever, which seems counter to your stated purpose of having real multiculturalism (and not just some bullshit on paper that no one actually respects, like, say, civil rights for people of color if anything, libertarianism tells us that having big bro put things on paper is not the right direction to go about it). On the other hand, the dude in the bar who kept groping your friend deserved what he got, because a real, concrete person in his own sphere of existence asked him to stop what he was doing and yet he continued to physiy her. So fuck that guy. He started out at a higher level of force, and the appropriate response was in kind. looking for a hottie to spoil lets txtFew people under the age of 50 are prepared for it, or for the death of a loved one. Besides death, any life crisis is *incredibly* emotional and often affects your well-being and future. Most of us go through several of those in a lifetime it's not so rare at all. The existence or not of a marriage certificate does not change the nature of your emotional relationship with your SO. In this sense, it *is* just a piece of paper. As as life goes merrily along without injury or illness, death, divorce, bankruptcy, homelessness, etc. then the piece of paper doesn't matter. Life is grand. The true value of that piece of paper is only realized at those critical times when it is necessary to protect legal rights (or to cripple you when it gets in the way of splitting up). Wouldn't it be grand if life would just roll along the way we want it to, the way we planned it? We could flip the bird at these stupid legal and political intitutions which complicate matters. But when a crisis strikes, it's at those times you'll DEPEND on those legal institutions to protect your own rights and those of your spouse. That's when the paper matters. It matters a LOT. It's not that money matters most to me But it does matter some, when I've spent much of my life pouring my dreams, effort and money into a life which I share with my spouse, and he likewise with me. Much can be pre-arranged with wills, jointly held assets, etc. But some cannot as observer pointed out, pensions and death benefits. Those go only to the legal spouse; or if no spouse, they go to no one at all. It's more about security and protecting the life we've built together, so that if either of us dies, the other can on with as little struggle as possible. If we were not married and I had no rights to his Social Security or pension, I'd survive. I'd make my own way, true. I did before we met. But this is not the future we hoped for and built together. The marriage certificate helps to protect that. local singles
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