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My sub and I started out in a bedroom only D/s setup, One day, we were sitting together on my couch, and in the course of discussion decided that we enjoyed our roles enough to take into the regular aspect of our life. We're not completely for any number of reasons, but it's definitely way more than just limited to sex. But you're asking about balance. The way he and I balance things is that he generally has a rule/punishment and reward structure (that we discussed beforehand based on limits, wants and needs) he's to abide by. For example: he's a masochist, so pain is a reward for him. In the rare times I've had to punish him, it's really more verbal in nature like telling him he's being inappropriate and it displeases me, which is a HUGE thing for him. He's a pleaser, loves tasks and service. Disappointing me is upsetting to him, so mental punishments are better for him than most physical ones. There are some things I don't have control over, like his finances and his creative outlets (his band, his writing). These are areas that existed before I did in his life, and I prefer to leave them to him. -Though I'd be remiss to say that he doesn't ask for counsel every once in a while regarding these issues, I generally don't give orders about them unless I feel he's being completely unreasonable that hasn't happened as of yet, and it's been nearly 3 years. It's going to be trial and error the entire way, I think. There have been times with my sub that fell flat, and some were fantastic. That's the only way you're going to know what works for you and what doesn't. Cambridge Massachusetts Cambridge Massachusetts mature nakedand I can why. You did make a commitment, and now you're looking for a way out. But maybe you just need to re-frame your thinking. You're experiencing burn-out. She probably is, too. What you need is a release valve. Some balance between your needs and your responsibilities. And I think that's entirely fair, and doable. If you and your wife are both working full-time, I think it's entirely reasonable to cut back on your overtime. I do not feel it's reasonable on your wife's part to demand that you work overtime. Does she work an extra 10 hours a week? Do you expect that of her? Would you demand it of her? Would she comply, if you did? Perhaps you two need to sit down and discuss where cut-backs could be done. As someone posted, things like cable, cell phones, take-out food and other such extras could be eliminated. You could also take some online or evening classes while working full-time. People do it all the time. Do your military benefits reimburse for college classes? If not, Pel grants and scholarships can defray a large portion of tuition costs. Student loans are always an option, and they allow a low interest payback. This could also help fund some of the extra care of your special needs. It require a great deal of time and effort, but if it's what you feel you need, I don't think it's fair of her to deny you this. And have that support adjusted. That's just plain ridiculous, especially for a special needs. hot wife
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