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she is hurting her grandchildren, exactly. She was very generous this Christmas, to all of the. But she had one more thing she wanted to give to the two. All the generosity is a good impulse. And there is nothing wrong with buying a small $25 dollar gift for the daughter of a woman your is *dating*. The cookies are something, and I also have to ask, is your mom slow in the head? That's attempted murder, if she is not slow in the head. But she sounds kind if completely misguided, so I assume she is slow. Your wife should have been happy that your mom remembered her daughter at all the first Christmas, while you two were still dating. And she should not know the exact cost of the gifts or be weighing them by dollar amount. Wife is being unreasonably materialistic. Ok, the thing I think your mom does not quite get, as that giving inequity to two of the makes it harder for your to think of themselves as part of the family, makes it harder for your to learn the social skills to blend the family. Also, spoiling them is not building their character. If I add rightly, $ a is wayyyy too much unless you all are upper middle class or richer. Tell your mom she has to stop spoiling the with expensive gifts. If she wants to give extra to her grandchildren she loves so much (and the stepdaughter is not her grandchild, she didn't your wife) then ask her to please indulge the urge to give by building up a scholarship fund for them. Your daughter cannot and should not expect college money from your mother. For one thing, inheritance and large financial transactions do generally stay with blood, is it common human behavior. For another, your daughter be grown by that time and able to tell the difference. What she needs is acceptance as a part of the family right now, while she is so and impressionable. Ten years from now a relationship with the new grandma have established itself, one way or another. Your daughter also sounds a bit slow. Girls I know with severe nut allergies have learned by the age of 8 to show all food to mom before eating, and an epi pen everywhere. At 10 she tried to just chomp on something, really? Your daughter needs some training stat. clean shaved and looking
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