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I do believe that in some respects language shapes thought, as well as reveals thought. In any online forum, it's wise to check the post history. When a poster posts the following (emphasis mine): I have finally come to except that I am bisexual. I have always loved women. The look, smell, the way they sound, everything but I never realized there was anything different about it until recently. My new guy is also bi and helped me to realize what my desires and wants are. He is willing to let me, be with a woman but I'm afraid of hurting I were to act on this and decide to follow through with these desres, where do I go about finding the right that fills these needs without just walking up to an attractive woman and saying are you bi I want to touch you and play with you? Well not in those exact words, but you know. 1. She is not interested in the emotions or needs of the other woman. 2. She's a member of the single largest vector in queer female space for STDs. 3. She has permission from her. That suggests all sorts of rather miserable things. 4. She's looking specifiy for another bi woman to fill her needs. That's also miserable, and horrible, and exploitive. 5. She wants to touch you and play with you , an idea that is so blatantly exploitive that even she is discomfited. This, coupled with the phrase "lifestyle" is telling in the extreme. I suggest "education" in this case would merely serve to disguise her to exploit. This is someone who is not safe in terms of her own health, or the welfare of the queer community. I respond very differently to, for instance, a woman who has realized that she might have spent years thinking she was heterosexual and isn't sure, and asks for resources. Or to a person trying to determine what it means to be "out." She's a tourist. She is not well-intentioned. Were I at the door of the bar, I'd bounce her. topless women in downers grove
I don't think he lied about it She got the statement and confronted him about not matching the size of her payments money wise, he NEVER denied it AND he told her his half would be in there by the time the trip came due. I think he only made the comment about her going withou him because she was harping on about the payment sizes. Can I ask if you read the rest of the thread before commenting on this post? He never lied and she is being very controlling checking up on him weeks into the agreement. She needs to focus less on the size of the payments and give him the space to prove to her that he hold up his end of the deal and TRUST he meet the deadline. And I never said he gets a free pass but he deserves a little space and trust. She came in here stacking the decks against him only to find out she is no peach herself. I think his behavior is feeding more off of hers than hers off of him. She has checked out of this marriage ago and I think it's obvious she is only going to counseling to get him to change so that when she says "jump" he say "how high" and when she tells him he better jump that damn high right now IF he wants to try and get her. Overall the trip was a bad idea so early on in counseling. It really is setting them both up to fail. They need to focus on reconnecting with each other if that's truly what they both want and going to disneyland with a whole bunch of screaming, waits in line, a year old and a small hotel room are not going to accomplish that but add to their problems. She really needs to take a hard look at herself and work on her before blaring the spot light on him and creating trust issues where there really are none yet. She is wanting him to fail I think. cuddle make love and relax 21 14891 21Let me preface this my saying that I've spent all afternoon working on a spreadsheet of mind-numbing proportions only to have it close without my saving it. Needless to say, my motivation to continue working on that project just flew out the window. I have to confess I've been lurking for some time. Although I'm a grown-up (I swear!), I do have a which give you a little info on my life. It took me a time to write all that stuff, so I'll save my space here for something a little more on topic. I've been married, dated men and women, and am currently in a LTR with a woman. Since my marriage, I've been resistant to labels, although I've found NOT labeling myself to be damned near impossible. For now, I guess I'm fitting in well with the lesbian community. However, as I've gotten older, I've really had to admit to myself that, in terms of who I'm attracted to, I'm indiscriminate about gender. Bisexuality, to me, feels like the ultimate in "normal". I mean, gender seems like a rather mundane thing to use to define who I find attractive. Not stressing over whether I'm "straight" or "-" has been liberating to a point. I also find it stressful and confusing. I'm finding it difficult to maintain the LTR during periods where I find myself primarily attracted to men (and yes, the possibility that I just have a problem with monogamy has occurred to me, but I'm just trying to wrap my around one thing at a time). I also find myself confused and saddened by society in general. The stereotypes associated with bisexuality are stunning. I wish I had the latest copy of The Advocate sitting with me. A reader was spouting off some hateful comments about bisexuals (or, rather, the stereotype of bisexuals). In my personal life, I've run into more than a few queer types who were downright angry about bi's. "Please don't judge me for the person whom I, but let me tell you who you SHOULD be judging." The double-standard is frustrating. I won't even go into the straight person's stereotype of bi's. I think the forums speak for themselves. So, that's it for now, I think. Part intro, part rant, part philosophical musing. I've been entertained by you guys for awhile now, so I feel a little less guilty about my voyeurism now that I've introduced myself. dating services
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