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I really need one, as well as general help on what to do from here. I have little and I can not keep paying for the house on my own. If I could take a and finish the basement to rent it out, I might manage, but I have been a stay at home and have not been employed in awhile, so I am not sure what I can earn. I am trying to figure out what to do. He is out of the house, and trying to say he wants almost all assets- retirement, stock or company ownership, investments, and trying to claim that any birthday or holiday gifts he has given in last 17 years should be listed as marriage assests to be divided. I looked at the government site on support. I wonder if I can get more than that. amount. His income keep going up over the years, as his ownership in the company and one is special needs with high bills. We moved here last and the laws would be in my favor if we were still back in our former state. I am wondering about moving back there and waiting out the six months there, but he could file and here I would have to come back and answer, correct? I would be able to make considerablly more income if I could move back due to the nature of my profession and licensure. I am so hurt and disappointed at his lack of commitment and vindictiveness. Truthfully, if he tries to push me too far, I have some bad stuff on him, but I don't want to go there. I'd rather spare the trouble and move on and spare the, and he can trash me to some degree. This sucks. :( discret fun tonightHard to help you for reasons: your negativity, the stubborn way you cling to cognitive distortions, the way your mind roams from problem to problem so when someone tries to address problem X and causative factors A B, you respond with problems Y Z and causative factors C through G. Look, getting fired IS a massive ego blow for anyone. I am sincerely sorry it happened. Though I KNOW it's the toughest lesson in town, I sincerely you learn from it. Because you have a lot to learn. You really do. And believe it or not, this is the PERFECT time to learn and embark on big changes. It IS an opportunity to make a new start: to take an honest look at yourself, address standing problems, SOLVE them, and move forward from a stronger position. I nothing wrong with going home to regroup. It's a a good idea. The questions are: Is this right time? And is going home tantamount to blowing up your marriage? In trying to sort through that, I end up back at square one: that you're hard to help because your mind complicates accumulates problems, instead of simplifying resolving them. Attempting to cut through ALL the tangles you're further tangling, I end up with this: You ABSOLUTELY must get some decent support in your life. Neediness is the issue that's wrecking your career, relationships, and probably your marriage. It makes you anxious, demanding, critical, self-centered, and ineffective. You’ve ignored my suggestion that avail yourself of professional help, but I'm going to say more about it anyway. IMO, therapists aren't miracle workers. You need a lot more than 50 minutes per week of complaining to a therapist. For that reason, I strongly suggest you: A) Learn cognitive therapy techniques, become EXPERT at them, use your to apply them objectively and religiously. You DESPERATELY need clarity, DESPERATELY need to distinguish fears from facts. Understanding CBT and training your mind to stop awfulizing get you there. B) Join a therapy or support group ASAP. IMO you benefit greatly from group support feedback. I, personally, found it far more beneficial than individual therapy. It “help:” you’ll have a group of helpers who’ll take the pressure off your relentless demand for help in other spheres of life C) Go to individual therapy, as well, so you have a supportive person to talk to. wants for massage
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