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Hmm. I think I tend to be on the good girl + playful/cheerful side of the spectrum. Good for me would be clear, honorable, straightforward behavior as much as possible on both sides. Then folks paying attention and respecting the boundaries of the current play and person. Sometimes I am bouncy/cheerful/naughty/playful, but there is no malice in it. Although sometimes it is obnoxious and I get asked to tone it down. When I sub, I'm a good girl and try my best. Whether that is giving honest reactions or following requests. When I dom, my good girl lets me "-" them. Pure reactions from the heart and eyes. This is what I want. This is the energy that I feed on. How do we deal with undesireable kinds of behavior? After much trial and error, we have a "-" system. Sometimes (it could be for anything, not just bdsm stuff) one person "flags" to indicate "need your temporary attention on something." Having it be something neutral that both of us use, reduces the that someone takes it personally and gets hurt feelings. In the scene, I have seen other dynamics though, including what looks like both dom and sub enjoying/wanting bad girl or very topping from the bottom patterns. As as all the folks involved are on the same and consent to whatever the parameters are, yay! More power to them. When there are contradictory views/goals/attitudes, time for renegotiation or a possible parting of ways. hot Wharparilla mexican guy that loves bbwnot a very smart game, either. I don't know if you're the type of person who would take advice from an expert in this area. You might just want advice from strangers on CL, and while we have plenty of advice and opinions, most of us are not experts in domestic violence. Go to a bookstore. Or go on. Buy this book: "The Gift Of Fear" by DeBecker. This is The Expert you need to pay attention to. The first time he got violent you were a victim. Every time after that you were a volunteer. You are still volunteering. For the sake of your kid, I you are capable of learning how to do more than play games and live a drama-filled life. Your kid shouldn't have to live in your world of drama. live sex chat
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