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There is no way for me to say any of this without crass and bitchiness so . I have very little sympathy for YOU. In some ways, I might be that mother. I no longer communicate face to face or over the phone with my STBX because he is a DICKKKK!!! He treats me with disrespect and contempt, then denies doing so and proceeds to question my mental health in a condescending manner. I can imagine that he's telling anybody who'll listen and writing letters to that I'm unreasonable and crazy. Therefore, I only communicate with him thru so that everything we talk about is on the record. This drives him NUTS, and he complains like you do that I make it difficult to communicate. It's not as though I never tried. My also have cell phones; however they much only use them to and check in once in a while when they're with dad and only if they want to. I know that when he communicates with them on their phones that he's got them to make sure and delete their messages between them. Of course, this is AFTER he goes through their phones looking for anything to or from me. Your main concern here should really be about making sure you know when the leave your house. That's what you need to address with your step. It's not unreasonable for them to say "hey my mom's here, we're leaving!" before they run out the door. In fact, she could come back and say you are endangering them by FORCING them to wait outside for her. Why are they left unattended enough to leave without your knowing anyway? < okay, I'll get off my soap box now > dominant man looking for his ftoy
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