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so this was really interesting. i'm no stranger to the concept of bad patterning and i (perhaps obviously) come from a dysfunctional family. before the last two, the men i dated were wrong in a different way, depressed, needy, dependent. so this guy, and the guy just previous they were choices agains't type. a calculated move that i was hoping would take me in a better direction. i wasn't overwhelmingly attracted to either one initially, they were both friends of friends, things started off slowly (for me). although both of them seemed to be really into me fast. both of them instantly wanted to spend a lot of time with me, and do things that seemed a little premature for me. point being, i'm sure that (for me) that whole seeing a person from across the room and feeling that instant 'zing' is a sign of bad chemistry, best avoided. but somehow, these non-zings, ended up being very similar, and worse, in a way. the controlling, my way or highway, game-y type was never in my rotation before the last few years. so i must be putting out a new vibe or missing some real clues. i need to sit down and think carefully back over every first moment where i think "hmmmm, this is odd" with the last guy. they both ended up being so similar, it's uncanny. guy 1 was totally unavailable, never wanted to talk about emotions or fix problems. that's a no brainer, i should have ran from that sooner. But with guy 2, i spent a lot of time getting to know him before letting it get physical. months. and during this time he went on and on about how into communication he was, talking things out, in retrospect, maybe he was just excellent at telling me what i obviously needed to hear. to make matters more complicated, guy 2 knows guy 1 socially, so he even had his own knowledge of guy 1 to maybe use in his favor..if i want to get that cynical. i think this brings me to a new question and that is this things were great at first. super great rapport, it was like we were the best of friends. then one day, some small conflict happened and he just changed. he started picking fights, making petty comments, refusing to communicate or communicating non-constructively (like, i'd point something out and he'd counter with something i did a week ago- smoke and mirrors). this happened with guy 1 as well we suddenly fell into this mode where (- next post) mwm bored and lookingI don't have a gun, never have, but my family of origin has hunters, using both bows and guns. There's always plenty of venison and wild turkey in their freezers and on the dinner table. I firmly support a person's right to defend themselves. I support the castle law, and I am against gun confiscation. That said, bipolar is a mood disorder that has been believed by professionals to manifest in late adolescence/early adulthood. Now, there are instances of as as 2 being diagnosed and medicated. While big pharma be delighted by this new trend, I question the merit of dosing little while their brains are still forming. Not to minimize mental illness, but not so ago, today's ADHD was typiy considered just another kid who needed to get more time out for recess. This -'s particulars merit further exploration, and the second opinion of a seasoned diagnostician. As for the gun issue, if you could influence the parents I'd encourage them to explore other athletic activities that involve some sort of exercise to work off those unresolved anger issues. IMO anger issues and guns don't mix. Better safe than sorry. looking for friendship
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