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"The fact he is coming out is not bad.. it was just upsetting that his wife was totally unaware of it." Not to trivialize the situation, but that line strongly suggests that her reaction is mainly a response to a surprise. Even the nastiest surprise stops being surprising after a while; or to put in in other words, if she gives herself time, she'll get over her upset. For closeted men, it takes a lot of backbone to come out, so the husband's inability to confront the simple truth that he's queer, a dirty fag, a nasty fudgepacker, and he's going to break out in a pink feather boa any minute that inability is entirely understandable. Of course, as out men we know that none of those pejorative remarks are valid (except possibly the pink feather boa part), but it takes time to realize that being queer isn't the same as being some kind of subhuman. From where I sit, the most serious aspect of the situation looks to be the husband's drinking problem. If he asked me for my advice, I'll tell him to smell the coffee, admit he's queer (in some sense or other, whatever floats his boat), stop the drinking and dramatizing, realize he's acting out all the lies he's been told about gays, straighten up his back, and confront the future with a smile on his lips. "Acting out all the lies he's been told about gays." IOW, he's giving power to the people who promulgate those lies; is that what he wants, to let those cocksuckers control the way he leads his life? A better reaction is cold rage at being lied to. looking for a tall pale and skinny guy with tattoosSounds like you took a class I should take! My wife is usually a dear caught in headlights. Very easy to catch in a weaker moment and verbally put her into a submitting mindset. About one in twenty be an MMA encounter. Our last was when she burned a pizza in the oven. She was mad at her self and the circumstances. We ate the pizza and I tossed out a playful insult about not wanting the next one burnt. She put a scowl on her face and I knew we were going to be getting rough with eachother. I went back to the bedroom and pulled out the under the bed restraints. If I don't, there is a good of her getting away. My wife isn't into pain, but wrestling and restraints are a whole different game. If I am not prepared I can take a hard elbow to the ribs or jaw. Kicking and kneeing are fair game as well. She is in total fight mode until the restraints have been on for a couple minutes. She usually stays fiesty the entire time, which really puts a smile on my face. She acts like her pussy is angry with teeth. Like all of her squirming and writhing around is going make it less enjoyable. Something like this is worked up to. We found that we liked this one by slowly building toward it. This type of play creats my closest Zen moments (when all seems right for both sides). The after care is the key to keep getting it to happen again. Me accusing her of doing what ever it was, on purpose no less, usually closes the mental gap quickly. Utilize what comes natural to you, your parnter just have to step up his skills to let you know how defenseless your are to him! After doing this with my wife, her other submisive version became much more pliable. relationship advice for women
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