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It sounds like what you are most hungry for is validation. I know it sounds weird, but if you excersise, even a little bit, you not feel so exhausted. Since your little one not nap, how about you take that time of day when she/he used to nap, and take them both for a walk? Have the bigger one take turns pushing the stroller, wear some ankle weights for a bit of extra oomph, and work out you legs a bit. Also, I'd start looking for a part-time job, or some volunteer work. There's always someplace in the community that needs a helping hand. For instance, your local library might appreciate somebody to hold a -' reading hour in the afternoons. Your own could come along, so there'd be no babysitting expense. Most of all, it's your self-esteem that's being eaten alive, so I say it's time to fight back, with good feelings you create inside yourself. ;) hot redheads Orem
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