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A sampling of comedian Dangerfield's one-liners: Oct. 5, , Joke of the Day on Dangerfield's Web site: "I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!"' "When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother." "When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream." "Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?"' "When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me . and no one showed up." "I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home." "When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me." "When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names hers and her mother's." "With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet." "With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it." sexy and hung seekin a freakThere is a cheaper way than a pine box or cremation. Let the county coroner take care of your last moment. The county Health Dept is usually charged with disposing of unwanted or unclaimed bodies. Each year about forty bodies are turned over to the local Undertakers on a rotating basis for them to do as they wish. Subject to them not leaving the carcass on the side of the road. The funeral directors sometimes bury them or cremate them and at least in one situation, outsourced the disposal to an out of State funerall crematory. They just dumped the bodies behind the shop in the woods. The County is usually billed about to dollars for the service. No profit in this task. Sidebar info: No religious services are allowed as this would entail acceptance of the responsibility of burial by someone. Maybe a little bit of separation of Church and State too. There you are; no Casket no Urn, no Hole or plot. mature women looking
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