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First you have to identify, even vaguely, what the problem is. Then flip a coin to who goes first. It's like a tennis game. The first one outlines the problem. Keep it as short as possible. The other person has to paraphrase in their own words what the first person said, to the first person and keep it up until the first person agrees that the other "gets it right". Then it's the other person's turn to make their case and the first person has to paraphrase in their own words what the other person said until the other person agrees that the first person "gets it right". Volley that ball back and forth for an hour and you both understand the situation sooo much better than a straight forward power struggle to plow your way to the finish line. At that point it ain't over, but it's probably 60% down the road to a conclusion. With that behind you, odds are in your favor that the two of you can find a solution, without drawing blood, that you both can live with. It tugs on your empathy rather than anger. Give it a shot. Chatham guy looking for chubby fwbI think it fulfills a persons need to feel that they are powerful and can effect someone. If someone was a loser before you met them and they improved in life you can attribute that to them being with you. logiy or not thats how humans rationalize it. If they are already a well put together person there its no potential for that need to get fulfilled. Thus you are not as attractive to them if they have a strong drive in this power need. This its generally defined as co-dependence. Or having or needing to use someone to get your own internal needs met. Your ex had an early experience that made her feel very powerless so she is doing her best to try and get that need met any way she can. No matter how times someone tells her there is no pot of gold at the end of that road this is that only way she can think of to get the need met. sex flirt
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