Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array fucking mature NiseoBBW 420 a plus A little about me, I'm new to this and not sure what to write, I'm a fun loving person a like hanging out by the water, love the sun. I like playing pool and having an. I've had a couple bad years, surgery on both my neck and back but making a full recovery. I'd like to meet a cool guy with a good of humor. Would like to go out and listen to some good music, like all types. If interested please shoot me back and we'll chat. Please no 's of your junk lol, Would love to burn one and just hang out. for 2nd attempt at a friendly Yanakie cyber chat
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44 more hours of for me until I'm realized. I think I might cum as as she slips it off of me! I've been locked up since Nov 8th and I'm about to loose my mind. I've had all kinds of crazy thoughts about ways I could get out this. MOst often I imagine getting naked and smashing my device into the wall to try and break it off. Those thoughts have never b een so strong as now. My wife vowed that she would try and not pleasure herself so as I was locked away. And she lasted all the way until now. We just finished smoking and started making out and then she told me to feel her and she was a mess and throbbing. With a sad kind of look she opened the drawer of the end table and apologized as she flicked on teh humming of her vibe and immediately brought her self to orgasm. I couldn't take it anymore so now I'm up stairs and the sound of her muffled moans are driving me even more mad! I cannot fucking wait until friday at 5pm!!!! fuck now Ismaning
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