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I feel like a mindfuck is so totally dependent upon trust, that the motivations of the person in the control position are of utmost importance, as is a clear enough understanding of what the consent allow. If the goals are to push boundaries and create recoverable discomfort, and that is what is accomplished, great. If under the same goals, what is accomplished is the creation of abject fear and a threat response, then I believe the consent boundary has been pushed. So then, it is either a matter of safeword or willingness to process afterward in a manner both agree to follow. Messing with someone's head is often used out of the realm of consent, ie. interrogation, but there is no out. If there are concerns of going too far, whether physiy or emotionally, then prearrange an out. Aaahh This so got me thinking of some wonderful levels of being uncomfortable. Wondering who can you or what is going on when you aren't fully clothed and your eyes are closed is one of my faves! girls from Jamaica nakedWhen a codependent does reach out for help, they're smacked around and criticized, ed an attention whore and all sorts of other names. Part of this is to help set the person straight, for sure. Part of it is the forum saying, here you codependent, this is what a boundary looks like. But I think part of it is also because when the codependent self-identifies, they tag themselves as being receptive to. Then they get more of it. Even when they're seeking help. It's a very subtle thing but it happens every time. I just found this link on codependency. Does it ring true to you? I kept looking for paragraphs to copy and paste into this post, but much every single one resonates. match making dating
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