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Hard to help you for reasons: your negativity, the stubborn way you cling to cognitive distortions, the way your mind roams from problem to problem so when someone tries to address problem X and causative factors A B, you respond with problems Y Z and causative factors C through G. Look, getting fired IS a massive ego blow for anyone. I am sincerely sorry it happened. Though I KNOW it's the toughest lesson in town, I sincerely you learn from it. Because you have a lot to learn. You really do. And believe it or not, this is the PERFECT time to learn and embark on big changes. It IS an opportunity to make a new start: to take an honest look at yourself, address standing problems, SOLVE them, and move forward from a stronger position. I nothing wrong with going home to regroup. It's a a good idea. The questions are: Is this right time? And is going home tantamount to blowing up your marriage? In trying to sort through that, I end up back at square one: that you're hard to help because your mind complicates accumulates problems, instead of simplifying resolving them. Attempting to cut through ALL the tangles you're further tangling, I end up with this: You ABSOLUTELY must get some decent support in your life. Neediness is the issue that's wrecking your career, relationships, and probably your marriage. It makes you anxious, demanding, critical, self-centered, and ineffective. You’ve ignored my suggestion that avail yourself of professional help, but I'm going to say more about it anyway. IMO, therapists aren't miracle workers. You need a lot more than 50 minutes per week of complaining to a therapist. For that reason, I strongly suggest you: A) Learn cognitive therapy techniques, become EXPERT at them, use your to apply them objectively and religiously. You DESPERATELY need clarity, DESPERATELY need to distinguish fears from facts. Understanding CBT and training your mind to stop awfulizing get you there. B) Join a therapy or support group ASAP. IMO you benefit greatly from group support feedback. I, personally, found it far more beneficial than individual therapy. It “help:” you’ll have a group of helpers who’ll take the pressure off your relentless demand for help in other spheres of life C) Go to individual therapy, as well, so you have a supportive person to talk to. discreet lady Les Arcsquestions: Yes, I had a spinal tap, several MRIs. The problem I found with the diagnosis machine that is western medicine: I had (the head of neurology at Kaiser) tell me I definitely had MS. Another Big on Hospital (not Kaiser, but a highly reputable medical center) told me I *might* have MS, but I also might not. Still another neurologist, highly recommended (my mom's an MD, BTW), said I definitely did NOT have it. The diagnostic tools they have these days are really *gray* *as in, not black and white); there are different levels of diagnosis: Possible MS, Probable MS, Definite MS. Their way of gauging? Well, say you've had 5 episodes of symptoms in 6 months and no spots (sleroses) on your or spinal cord? well, then they say you have Probable MS. But if you have spots on your scans and only symptoms in 10 years? Definitely MS. I have a problem with the term "psychosomatic". The mind and body cannot be separated. They are a whole thing. Just as "stress" can lead to heart disease, "stress" can lead to problems in the CNS. Also, if a doctor tells a patient s/he has weeks to live, the body is listening. Organs listen. Things in the body react to words. Stomach acid is released, that's something we've all experienced, yes? From words spoken? Well, organs do things to, as does, as does spinal cord, etc. Allopathy, or western medicine, has amazing things to offer, don't get me wrong. But my mother, whom I and adore and respect, taught me that if doctors simply don't know, they never say this. For whatever reason, they label, and thereby "diagnose" something as a syndrome, or they create a new disease. I don't buy it. I'm not saying MS doesn't exist, and I certainly don't know the OP's SO's story, but the diagnostic tools in my experience are bunk. Just my opinion. australian dating
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