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I came from a very troubled childhood and put the "d" in dysfunctional when it came to relationships. I was very successful in my career by day, crying at my therapist's office on the weekends. I had a concept of what the "right" relationship was for me, the "right" person and as a result kept ending up with all sorts of people that could not have been more wrong for me. I mean, on paper it all looked great but in reality not so much. I met this guy. He was SO not my idea of the "right" guy. Not my type, similar childhood issues, same industry (which I had avoided like the plague) and just "wrong" all over the place in my silly mental reasoning. But we got each other like no one I had ever met. We dated for a bit, I could he it was getting serious FAST and I was terrified. TERRIFIED. I broke it off with him and somehow, we remained friends. But REALLY friends. I then went out with another "right" guy after which ended as surely as anyone watching would have supposed it would. I knew at that point, my "type" was all wrong for me. I knew then I was really bad at picking the one for me. The relationship with "right" guy ended SO bad that my friend, Mr. Wrong, came over with some strawberry ice cream to talk. And I realized how grateful I was for his friendship. How much we knew about each other's darkest secrets. How MYSELF I felt with him. Over the next months, we became intimate. It was hot and heavy but in my mind, we were still "just friends". Then, one day (in bed, no less) he told me he couldn't keep seeing me. He told me he had never stopped loving me and his emotions would not allow him to just be friends now that sex was also in the mix. He told me "I don't know if this work out and neither do you but I'm willing to take that and that's what I am asking from you a. Or that we end this now." I took a few minutes while my mind swirled around in panic mode and in a moment of clarity understood that I was what was standing in the way of having. I loved him, he loved me. As a friend and now as a lover, he was actually not only not "wrong" for me but maybe the only TRULY right guy I had ever dated. I gave our relationship that 18 years ago. It's been 16 years of marriage and I am grateful every day that my best friend gave ME that second. I vote give him a. naughty women in MourstianouBut only at first when meeting new people and then I'm fine. As far as the sex part goes, no, I didn't feel like women were in charge or I wanted them to be in charge. I would initiate sex. No, I don't myself as a bottom. I don't feel I need a or a woman to be the dominant one and me submissive. My sex drive is high, but I really need to be attracted to a woman physiy to have sex with her. I know some guys are just happy to be having sex and to hell with what she looks like. That's not me at all. Do you feel that most people have sex with someone even if they don't find the person sexually attractive? I've turned down sex with a few women. If a guy came on to me and I found him unattractive I couldn't have sex with him. If I found him attractive who's to say what would happen. I've never been intimate with a guy before. I'm trying to figure this all out. It's not easy. Everyone on here is making some very valid points. horny women
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