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That's not to say we didn't ever argue; we did but it was rare and didn't lead to these despair feelings just arguments but never to the point of breaking up/threatening to break up, more of an exchanged point of view. Reactive EXACTLY how it feels we had a great relationship (sad to think of using it in the past tense). We were (and most of the time still are) each other's biggest champion, helping each other, working together to solve problems, just enjoying each other, etc. He's my favorite person in the world. I def read the books you suggest. I look into cognitive therapy, heck, I clearly need to talk to a trained professional if I'm even contemplating a divorce from the I -/our little 2 person family. And spot on: I'm guilty of talking about divorce, not him (I've brought it up twice). Not threatening it, but I get your point and know I shouldn't. And at least I recognize the need to shut up I honestly knew I did it but never knew how much it bothered him, he didn't want to make a big deal and now he's clearly been stewing on it for some time. Really appreciate all of your comments and your time, thank you. must have hot naked men
And I have been thinking about how to help give a spot of advice. Him being in constant "Dominate" mode could be a lot of things, but a wise Dominant knows how to care for their submissive. And if backing off is something you need, it is something he should do. You have a personal identity. And right now that identity is asking no it is demanding its time in the. And there is nothing wrong with taking time to be yourself. That does not mean you are not submissive, it means you need time to be YOU. If you do *anything* day in and day out for 6 years you need a break. For fucks sake, prisoners get to leave their cage at least one hour a day for a mental break to walk the yard. I agree with Sphynx in that you need to sit him down and tell him that the relationship is in serious danger if he does not listen to you and what you NEED, and this is not a "want". It isn't a matter of him being the dominant, it is a matter of you using the power you ultimately hold. You don't *have* to submit. A good Dominant worth their salt EARNS their submissive's submission each and every time. And if he is so wrapped up in himself he is actively not listening to you then he is no longer earning your submission. So don't give it. You are not being bratty, you are being a human being and demanding your rights to be respected. He needs to be reminded of his place. It is something he needs to realize that he can lose by always demanding his way and not taking into consideration of the person he says he cares for. The best quote I can think of to give you is this, from Wars: -: "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more systems slip through your fingers." And you are the system that slip through his fingers if he continues to not listen to you. i only want something light and funweren't you going on about how much you were schlepping around? yeah, i've got a couple impressive toys. there's just something better about it being attached to an actual guy delivering the goods than some substitute wants for a life time relationship
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