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I am so so sad. I want to die mostly w4m Illusions are hard to face. Well, illusions are actually easy to face. What's hard to face is the fact that what you have been living with, or working for for so many years is the illusion.
I have nothing less than I ever did, I just am so sad.
I wasn't strong enough to face it before but I have known that everything you've done in relation to me has been forced. All that false antiquated obligation you impose on yourself.
But man you have been a good actor.
I felt truly, warmly, unconditionaly loved by you for almost exactly months. Out of ten years. That is so sad. I think for months you loved me. It was due to a psychiatric drug that medicated your restless paranoid mind.
For those months I wasn't scared, worried or unsafe and unsure like every other day of those ten years.
So pitiful. That's all I get. Lousy months. Moyers Oklahoma massage with happy endingSkeptacle w4m Sometimes I wish I could be less proud,
Defensive,
Sometimes I have these values to protect
Because I try to be something loveworthy,
In that process,
I shut people away,
I have my standards, my morals, to protect
I have myself to protect
I thought.. Rather than love, success, fame.. Give me truth
But truth cannot come if I cannot be truthful
If I don't admit that I love
(Even those who are not truthful)
Some argue love is a choice,
So I willed myself
To be right
I will myself to always be invincible
And then I miss cOnnection
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I think that it also has to do with where I'm at in my life mentally. For instance, men I've met want to just bed me quickly. And that doesn't interest me. The eagerness is a turn off. What I really want is to find a guy who I'm deeply compatible with. A best friend. A cutie. Someone who cares about me and is responsible. Without those things, I have no homosex drive. I can fuck a girl on a moment's notice, but without all the things that make a girl blush at the thought of the, I really am not attracted to them. For instance, I'm not even remotely attracted to most straight men. There are exceptions, but without the flirtaciousness between us as well as interests in common and, of course, a primal attraction, there is really nothing. Bryant free sex adsWhite BBW for Man of Color. free dating and chat
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