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A and his dog were walking along a road. The was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he ed out, "Excuse me, where are we?" "This is Heaven, sir," the answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The gestured, and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another walk, and at the top of another hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. "Excuse me!" he ed to the reader. "Do you have any water?" "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in." "How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the bowl and took a drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the who was standing by the tree. "What do you this place?" the traveller asked. "This is Heaven," he answered. "Well, that's confusing," the traveller said. "The down the road said that was Heaven, too." "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and gates? Nope. That's Hell." "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?" "No,we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind." seeking a long awaited valentine- did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?" he asked. "This is not your bedroom," the replied, "I am St., and you are in heaven." "WHAT!?? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die ..I'm too." said. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately." "It's not that easy", said , "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own " thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad. "I want to return as a hen." replied. And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But, now "he" felt like the rear end was gonna blow ..then along came the rooster. "Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." he said. "How does it feel?" "Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up." "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before??" "No, how do I do that?" asked. "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can." clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground. "Wow" said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: "-, for Gods sake wake up, you're shitting all over the bed!" the best dating sites
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