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Not until you adopt the outlook guessy suggested. Dating isn't stupid, that is time spent getting to know someone, dating should be exciting not some chore. I get that you've done really well, my hat is off to you. Now focus on what you've gained and how life IS good right now. Anything from here is an addition to that good life not a requirement. You know how you've put it hey, why not ask her out? That is the way to think nothing to lose, invest slowly and if you guys have compatability. No forcing it, no drama. Like you said, you want to make a good decision for all parties. So here's an opportunity, an opportunity to be really honest, to be the person you've worked this year to be. Win or lose, you'll play it by your rules. You can look forward to that can't you? Go out, have some fun and if there's a connection well bonus round, if not, good luck to you both and you still have what you've got maybe it's not perfect, but its up to you to make it as good as it can be. Good luck - women Modesto wanting sexI've been with my husband for 9 years, married 3. I met him when I was 18. We have one 5 year old together. Things have really not been going well between us for about a year and a half I've been thinking about divorce for about 9 months or so. We've talked about it we tried counselor told us that she couldn't really help us as we have no connection and do not perceive the same problems in our marriage. Those were her exact words! He used to drink alot and had been physiy abusive in the past but we've worked through that it's not the reason for divorce. He is emotionally absent and doesnt really even know me. I am 27 he is 40 and I am his 3rd wife. He says he is just the way he is and although it's ripping me apart I don't have the right to ask anyone to change. But I do have the right to be happy and so does he. He's already talking to other women. So now were at an impass; an awkward stage where we both know what needs to happen but it's not done yet. We still live in a condo together which we own. Basiy I want us to go our separate ways and work things out mutually. I think that in our case this could actually work out, although I know in most cases it does not. I would like to stay in the home with my so we don't have to throw too drastic changes on him at once. We've been discussing him paying the mortgage for a period of 5 years and half of daycare costs. When the 5 years is up I move and he can sell the home or live in it or whatever, it would be his at that point. We both have crazy work schedules and he is on the road alot so we have agreed to equal time with our but not a set schedule except for holidays. this way he can have him when he's home and wont time if he gets sent out for a week or more. My problem is that EVERYONE including my mother and lawyer is telling me I'm an idiot and that this scenario never work once we are in process of divorce. That I need to protect myself and go for sole custody because of his violent history. I don't really want to do that, he's been sober for a year now and loves our to death. I know this is not gonna be, but does it have to be nasty? I keep hearing how I'm setting myself up to get steamrolled and that I need to take the offensive . I dont want to be that girl but I dont want to f*ck myself in the process wap date
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