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Here's the situation: Me: 40, a genuinely good person and husband loyal, honest, respectful not at all perfect, but have had relationships 2 from another marriage, ages 7 and 5 (good -), they stay over every other weekend. I'm somewhat spacey, a little self centered, but still giving Sometimes heavily committed with work, school, etc., but the rest of time is set aside for my wife. Starting to rethink having more (- below). Her (my wife): 38, 2nd marriage, no, desperately wants to be a mother biological clock is ticking Sweet, attractive, friendly, excellent stepmother Explosive, violent temper with destructive verbal attacks, beyond whats warranted (not towards my though) Starting to resent my because they're not hers Blaims me for her behavior saying it's solely a result of me being unavailable Requires an enormous amount of attention with extremely high expectations (has admitted to a void from her Father being completely unavailable and dismissive and needing me to make up for it) Has anger and resentment towards me and discredits anything good I do while finding fault in me where she can Still, aside of her flaws, a very special person Us: Been together going on 5 years, of them married When it's good, there's nothing like it, when it's bad, it's awful each other very much, but have a bad history (I moved in and out of the house about a dozen times in.) Tried unsuccessfully to have a biological (insemination, etc.) In and out of marital counseling to no avail I know this is my story and she has hers but I don't know what to do. it ever work? girl on the bus this morning at 7 am
There is always more to the story. I don't make enough money to support my wife and I. Unfortunately she has to work. When we got engaged she was living in her relatives house and working 20-25 a week delivering pizza. She had no rent and minimal bills. Since we have been married it is a constant battle to get her to work a full week. If she had her way she would work a slacker job 25 hours a week. The way I it if she doesn't work she shouldn't be able to spend at. I'm frustrated because she takes no responsibility in our finances. She has no idea what our monthly bills are. She brings home receipts and leaves them out for me to record in our register. She spends more than she makes and refuses to change her habits. The idea of separate accounts was HER idea because she is sick of hearing me tell her we're broke. I'm willing to run the household but right now she has it made. She brings in less than half of what I do and spends times as much. She refuses to look at our financial situation but keeps handing me receipts to record. I'm wearing sneakers with holes in the bottom because I haven't been able to afford new shoes. She wants separate accounts and I'm all for it but I believe she has to be held accountable for meeting her financial responsibilities. She gets paid today and is going to take her check and open a bank account. She took money out of the joint account yesterday to go towards her account as well. We wewre flat broke but luckily my paycheck posted early so the money she withdrew to help start her account came from my paycheck. I feel like I'm pulling my weight by working full time. If she doesn't want to work full time she shouldn't have much spending money. I don't want to let her work 30 hours a week and use my money for her expenses. hot guy working at nordstroms dti thought we knew her gripes she came here only for validation? Wow, so sad you think so low of someone you dont know or maybe you know what she is thinking i wonder what other than that she hasnt commented praises to boost your cyber ego makes you think she hasnt already created a plan in her mind two years this was the status quo for them. a person you two years you cant give six months? well, means she didnt him THAT much then and good for her. The game starts now not keeping score from the time you laid eyes on that person true if you are the type that cannot forgive a slight you should leave the relationship. In any relationship any psychiatrist tell you to bang your partners head in for PAST slights have you going in circles why focus on the last two years. she didnt take this stance the game starts now. You cant set ANY clock for PAST times. Either move on or move forward. find sex partners
the nastiest penis she ever saw there wouldn't be a second date ;-) I think it's unreasonable as hell to put that on someone on or before the first date and you might have to kiss a few frogs first. Your interests aren't the only ones that matter his interests are just as important. I think if you pay attention you can figure out whether someone's serious. I personally would be a little weirded out by having this kind of discussion even at date six. Here's a short (and not all-inclusive) list of things I'd be working out before I was ready to discuss marriage and a family 1. Most important, is she a nutjob or just pleasantly quirky? 2. What about her moral compass? Is she honest? Is she as nice to the waiter as she is to me? 3. Does she know how to laugh? Does she know how to laugh at herself? 4. Is she self-aware? Committed to self-improvement? 5. Do we stimulate each other intellectually? 6. What about spirituality? Do my beliefs and hers fit together? 7. Are we sexually compatible? (This one takes awhile as most people can honeymoon well.) 8. How does she react when the going gets tough? Okay. Once I get the answer to all of those then I'm ready to discuss commitment. I'm guessing this probably doesn't line up with the biological clock ticking away, pinkytoe but a good relationship takes time and work. If you brought up marriage and on the first date I'd be one of those who ran away screaming as you'd just flunked #1 ;-) in there - phone sex with southerner
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