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married and lonely Dover I tried to give information based on what you said. How is that an attack? You said: "Until about 2 years ago I had never heard Butch and Femme myself and kinda like the old terms better for some reason." Which I interpreted as you not hearing the terms butch and femme till about 2 years ago. Those terms have been around for ages, so if you haven't heard them I have to wonder where you've been, how you've been out, what you've done to understand our community. I do still hear bull dyke and lipstick lesbian every now and then, but have never heard stone femme either. Maybe you're right that it is a dialect thing. (Then again, I came out in PA and certainly heard those terms there.) (Then again again, that was a time ago.) The terms used in our community come and go, are reintroduced, reinvented, and redefined. Search the forum if you want, the topic of labels comes up quite a bit. And don't worry about the neg rating, some people get off on negging posts. Consider it a kink. woman for casual sex 77571
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I'm sure he knows his behavior was poor. Even if he still stands by everything he said as justified and doesn't know just how horrendous and hurtful. Probably his overall complaint is that, b/c I do not behave as he would like within the family/don't make the same decisions or have the same communication and relationship style, I "stress" him out. My (- dwindling and believe me now stopped completely) being a component of that stress apparently. Stress and/or guilt making him so angry and his life a living hell, at least when it has anything to do with our family/mother, as he tells it. He cites dealing with her as the main reason he had a heart attack a couple years ago. So while I might ordinarily state the facts with someone and let them handle it and the chips fall where they b/c we're all adults and responsible for ourselves my brother is not an adult and can not handle himself in this way. I certainly don't want to perpetuate the problem by enabling the behavior. I'm not about to bounce along and pretend it's all good. Or try to "fix" his problems or just behave the ways he wants me to. But at the same time, I don't want to trigger stress, guilt, fury, God forbid another heart attack. I know I am not responsible for how he handles himself. But I also know he is not so far psychologiy able to handle himself better. That's just the plain facts. So that leaves me wondering how to behave intelligently given the situation and that this is a family relationship I probably always maintain at least on some level. older horney Huilmo Alto
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