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I am a woman in my 40s. Brace yourself! (-: I have dated a lot. I mean I have had short term dates or relationship and one term in my 20s. My biggest flaw was I avoided conflicts and always seemed to leave a relationship at the first fight. I am a slow learner because I recently learned that I was the problem not the men; even though at the time of a break up, I was quite clear the issue was with the men. I never got married but always wanted to find true and get married and have a family. However, it is clear I was sabotaging myself and did not even know it. Now, I grew up a very violent household. My mother was a raging bully. I made peace with this. I am currently strained from my parents. But my thoughts of them are at peace. I am no longer angry at them nor do I really focus on my childhood. I am usually very grateful and have bubbly personality. When I realized I was averse to conflict, it was like an epiphany! Now, I am not saying I am perfect but I am work in progress and heading the right direction. Interestingly enough, I am also dating men that seem to resonate with my new found energy. I am meeting a lot of men in their 40s, educated, attractive, own houses/condo, and seem social but without and mostly never married or married very short time time ago. I cannot find men around my age with who want a term relationship or they do not find me. I am getting quite depressed about this because I do not trust those single guys would never want. I could have too but it would be rushing the relationship to another level without much of “getting to know each other”. I am 42 now! I am more focused on finding term than having but I am not opposed to having or adopting at all. I need some assurances on why would these men were never married in the first place or had families and how often do they really change to get married or have? None of these guys are opposed to having, if they were, then it would have made sense to me why they do not have. i m glad you want the best for meI have watched a couple of episodes of "What would you do?" and was just shocked by people's lack of engagement. I saw the one where someone was visibily spiking his dates drink and most people just watched. What the F#@$%!? I am good, mother's day weekend. Been really busy at work lately. How are you doing? Are you still at the same site or is that thing built already? man seeking woman
macae scort girls a book ed: "ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life" I began reading this book to mentally prepare for a visit to my dad's place, to make the first dent in tackling the parental hoarding situation. I also discussed the dynamics of hoarding with a psychologist and read about it on-line. I've seen a few programs on TV. An actual hoarder needs to be dealt with differently than a normal person. Guilt, shame, nagging, complaining does not work. They have layers of rationalizations that don't make sense to a normal person. For example, a stack of newspapers might be ed "a work station". Mom refused to discuss the hoarding mess, she would disolve into tears and then not talk to us for 9 months if it was brought up. I agree with the person who said the outside mess is a reflection of chaos on the inside. This is a complicated mental illness, some cross between OCD, ADD, depression and such. When dealing with a couple like my parents, it is further complicated by his resistance to change (he's used to living in the mess), criticizing, and the co-dependent lack of boundaries set in place over a 60 year marriage. My mother passed in so we are now facing the hurdle and burden of the clean up process, with, respect and, a ton of and a lot of psychological tactics to approach this one step at a time. However, you said that the GF is NOT a full blown hoarder. So, reading the book is a good place to start. There are genuine tips in it that can be helpful to tackling a big mess. Book also covers concepts like overwhelm, micro-focus, setting priorities, etc. I prefer the strategy of tackling stuff strategiy rather than one enormous clean out. It be interesting to if GF takes any steps toward bringing better organization to her life. And I'd wait to if she goes to counseling. Learning how to organize her life greatly benefit both her and her. The question is, do you have the, respect and to want to go through this process with her? I you at least try. After all, sometimes people come into our lives to be a catalyst for change. However, if you are a super neat freak, or tend to complain to get a person's agreement or compliance, then I'd explain to the GF that you are opposites in this regard, it is a deal breaker. good friends only in the valley females
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