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After the birth of my first, I took in a 9month old little girl, babysitting days for a little cash, and a play pal for my boy. After they both finished their lunch, ooo boy, did they have poopy drawers. Without worrying about cleanup at the table, I laid them out and changed them both. Whew! Right then, my DH walked in. He'd taken the afternoon off from work and decided to come home and surprise me. He yelled and threw things, bitched about the mess, the stink, and told me what a lousy homemaker I was. I'm sure it did look and smell bad. My used cloth diapers (3 guesses who rinsed, washed, and those out to day). But he hadn't seen me feed and walk the dogs, dance with the babies, cook their lunch, get dinner started, wash the breakfast dishes, breastfeed and bathe my, etc. All he saw was a messy house, because life gets messy sometimes, especially when he didn't have the courtesy to ahead so I could've been better prepared. Like Sphynx said, no matter what you, it's a safe bet that there's a whole lot of stuff goin' on that you don't. naked Cortland girlsHowever I would like for it to be open to the extent that we can talk to other people and enjoy them, find them attractive, have conversations and flirt. AND remain completely true and loyal to each other. And be able to trust that to our bones. This concept is very strange to him. He is sort of black or white. He can only relate right now to having these feelings for someone and that meaning that something must be wrong between us and finding fault with me out of a conditioned guilty conscience. Loving like this is a I know it requires of both of us confidence, in our selves and each other. We have to be able to trust each other completely and feel good enough about ourselves to feel worthy of this kind for relationship. I believe in monogomay, and I believe that monogamy can also incorporate relating with other people and enjoying attraction. It just takes being very solid and commited and knowing what we are commited to and why. We both need to know of ourselves and from each other the value of our relationship as well as the value of staying committed to it and the goals that we are sharing. Personally I feel that as we grow in relationship that the paradigm of our turn-on should also. For example. for me, while I still find my boyfriend very attractive, the turn on facotr is no longer about the unknown, it is about the known, and about the beauty of what we are doing together and the sacredness of true intimacy. However this is also the bubble I find myself living in, sadly, alone. At least for now. I do feel that our paradigms are different in how we approach and relate to relationship, initmacy and marriage. I have a lot of lofty views on all this, and well, I have recently had to succumb to the relaization that right now, he is not floating on the same lofty cloud as me. Who knows. Sure just feels good getting this out. Thanks for listening international dating sites
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