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well, i didnt. i always loved girls as a and teen. i was molested when i was 8-9 repeatedly by an older neighborhood boy. i didnt start having thoughts about men until i was 19-20, but i always thought it was an affect of the molestation, so i blocked it out. further, i was raised on the east coast in a strong catholic community, and went to catholic school for 8 yrs. so, to me, it was a sin to lay with another. so it's a fuckn complicated thing for me. i am not a coward. i am a complex person who feels great remorse for my wife and for what has culminated in my life. do you even understand that? discreet sex chatline
But, I recognize we live in a country that still has a ways to go in truly accepting diverse sexualities. We just had an incident on the campaign trail in Ontario where a provincial leader refused to condemn what was clearly homophobic literature. Philadelphia Flyers' Simmonds wasn't sanctioned by the NHL for using a homophobic slur during a hockey game in mid. Friends and colleagues are shocked when I recount the homophobia my fiancé and I have personally encountered here in Ottawa. Sneers when we hold hands, snide comments and screams from opencar windows of "faggot" or "queer" are common. Yes, even in Ottawa. "It Gets Better" campaigns featuring only GLBTQ (-, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and queer) people aren't good enough. It needs to get better today for every kid in an Ontario school. This means we need everybody speaking out together. Educators, elected officials and parents need to rally and demand immediate adoption of a new sexual education curriculum for all levels of schools. Along with the seismic shifts in public attitude and laws providing lesbians and gays with full and equal rights, we also need to similar shifts in the way we educate youth about diverse sexualities. The education system must adapt to the society it teaches. We need to hear more straight men speak out against homophobia. jokes aren't funny. They contribute to an atmosphere of intolerance. Locker rooms where men toss around the words "-" and "fag" are the exact environments that keep closeted and. We need players in all sports to take up the example of. rugby Cohen and commit themselves to combating homophobic and negative remarks about gays. We need to disavow ourselves and our society of the notion that, "boys be boys" and are somehow entitled to a period of their lives where they can tease, bully and cause pain. Daily, somewhere in Canada, a person is being roughed up or beaten for being. How about our tough-on federal government doing something about that? Depression is caused in part by environmental forces. Community, society and the context people live their daily lives in matters a lot. It's incumbent on every person to contribute to a society that accepts people along every part of the sexual spectrum. kaidi Kurrajong outdoor event tonightAt least my town was on the outskirts of. But that was a world away when you are a kid. Lets I knew by fourth grade something was up (actually my mom says I told her "when I grow up, I'm going to a -" around age 5, I don't remember this!) 6th grade I had my first sexual boy crush. something-or-other, he matured early and I still remember the tingle in my crotch from seeing his hairy armpits. Around 7th or 8th grade, I discovered a stash of naked magazines in the bushes two streets away from home. Playgirl and the like. I have NO idea what they were doing there (bait??? I shudder now to think ) but I went in the middle of the night and absconded with them. Hid them deep under my bed, by pulling a drawer out and stashing them behind. They provided fap material for the next few years, and boy did I ever (I think my record was something like 17 times in one day). Lucky me! But I was totally deep and in the closet. I knew I could *never* come out, for risk of bodily harm from my dad and community. Tortured myself in High school (miserable time). But I did get to go to Horror Picture Show in West with friends a bunch of times. (and why didn't I come out, then and there?) Now days, have the internet. sheesh! dating and uk
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