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I want to tell my story and if anyone can give me some help or direction. Ever since I was younger I have always been interested in sex, when I was in the 4th grade I found my dad's porno stash under his bed and showed a friend and we thought it was the coolest/hottest thing ever. Eventually when I got to 7th grade one of my friends at the time was over and I showed him my dad's porn. I guess he must have seen that as an opening cause he started to suggest that we play with each other I was really iffy about it and he said that he would suck on my and I could just pretend it was a girl doing it. I let him do it and nothing happened until a few months later when he came over after school and asked if we could swap blowjobs. I was iffy again but agreed and neither of us came until we rubbed our dicks together. My parents found out and talked with me about it but considered it just me exploring innocently and that it didn't mean anything. After that point I had no sexual contact with anyone for a while. I had a fascination with porn throughout high and high school. About a year and a half ago, maybe 2, I started to watch "shemale" porn. Originally it was only watching a shemale bang a girl but eventually it evolved to watching a guy with a shemale and eventually the guys getting fucked by them. I also started to play more and more with my own ass when I jerked off. At one point I started fully fingering myself and using what I could as a dildo of sorts. When I finally came to college I was sexually frustrated because of my work load and came to to look for people to hook up with. Eventually after having no luck finding any girls to hook up with I started having resurgent memories of back in 7th grade and decided to if I could get my sucked by anyone, guy or girl. I did and then eventually I took the next step and found a guy that would let me fuck his ass. After that I sort of regretted it and lied to my friends and family about having sex but with a girl but using the anal aspect still. At this point I have been in contact with a guy who I am sure I am going to let him take my virginity. The weird fact of the matter is that I don't find myself emotionally attracted/physiy attracted to guys, just the thought of their penis. I am still very much only interested in dating women and still find them attractiv hot guy who smiled at me at hebLook this is a cycle. Small suck energy like a vampire. She's gone from being just your wife, to being a mother to 4, with all the volunteer efforts that go with it. She barely has time to brush her teeth in the morning, and at this point, sex has fallen in importance to "GOTTA HAVE IT" to a non-unpleasant-but-necessary chore. She is probably aware that her body is reflecting pregnancies, but is perhaps a bit overwhelmed at the work needed in order to get back to square one. I can understand your for her to want to enjoy it, because by golly, sex is more fun when BOTH people are enjoying it. One thing you want to watch out for is to keep from insisting that it's no fun unless SHE'S having multiple orgasms it can incur 'performance anxiety'. That kind of pressure is counterproductive "oh, god, not only does he want sex, I also have to perform! Geeez!" It's not how YOU feel about her, it's how SHE feels about HERSELF. If she looks in the mirror and doesn't like what she sees, she might be feeling that "you're just saying that" in order to insure availability of sex. And, unfortunately, buying her the canvas and supplies probably just reminded her of all the things she doesn't have time for, now I'm sure she appreciate the thought, but in one sense, it was just a reminder of something she's not doing well, either. (Did I say any of this was rational? No, I didn't :-) But there it is.) As the get older and she's able to catch her breath now and then, she'll be able to focus on herself a little more. You sound like a decent guy. Please remember, though, that men and women don't approach sex the same way. Women need to be emotionally engaged first. Try giving her a romantic evening without the expectation of sex a "date night". Encourage her to take an evening off each week for an class. Send her off for a pedicure. Bring her flowers "just because." Are you sure you're giving her enough time to "warm up", so to speak, before sex? For example, sexy massages, where you show appreciate for her body, would be nice and if she falls asleep in the middle of the massage, that tells you something about her energy level, anyway. Sex cycles in a marriage you're at a low point now (and even then, you're STILL getting laid, so don't whine too much.) It come back. horney cougar
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